Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Sep 20, 2011

Wrestling with deeper thoughts

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.   - Saint Francis de Sales
Off and on I think..... what did I do to deserve this kind of torment.  How naive I was to have married such a monster and lived with him for so many years. Was I that wrapped up in work? Did I so successfully ignore the harsh reality that I survived it all this while and continued to do just that 'survive' instead of being  'alive'.
The wake up call to 'un-zombify' came in two hard knocks (think this is what they mean by God shaking the earth under you). One was my retrenchment from an all absorbing job and the other was the increased sociopathic behaviour of the ex. There was an increasing obsession with 'discipline' and a corresponding suffering of the kids which my senses began to grow increasingly troubled with. Did one lead to the other or did my change of situation lead to the blunt awareness.

... this keeps on circling in my thoughts...
I have never thought of myself as a perfect mother, and being a working one perhaps that had been my crutch. I have never been in the position to not have to work, and so now and then I have these feelings of regret and wish I could go back in time to capture more memories with my kids.

The kids have more because of it on one hand but less of me in other ways. It is my loss.
But then now I am stronger for it too , and in my current situation  I have to be grateful for how it had been. Because I know we can survive without him and that is one less insecurity I will face.
and so my internal arguments seem to face each other off.....

I believe that there must be a purpose for the kids, their being brought into this world. [Else if I had been a different person and taken a different path, they would not have come to be except perhaps one] God works in puzzling ways.

Am I making sense.. ...I believe the sum of who I am now is the result of where I have been.  And so I am more able to take on and cope with what is happening now.

feelings of guilt and yet... a strong desire to move forward.....

It bugs me that I cannot carry all their burdens,  I can try to anticipate to lighten it.

I pray for a little more perfection in the area of motherhood but most of all, I pray that my kids will come to understand it all when they are older and not judge me for the many things they probably will not recall or understand.
Is it because I am a mother that I demand more of myself or is it just me demanding more of me?

What sort of person would I have turned out to be were I not a mother?

Aug 27, 2010

Labour and love.

Steadily it continues to tick,
changing seasons...
mothers persevere,
even as time moves,
but still we lag.
We slow our steps
to give way to those we love,
they move forward.

Is it the irony of our existence
or  a God-given instinct
- how it was and is to be,
to give all and have less.
To grow big with child,
and loose more of self.
That love should hold us back
to ensure they do not lack.
To gain satisfaction from that fruit,
to pour all into one
who may walk away
and leave us

And finally we are left in this place,
of memories of expressions
and moments,
in our precious possession.

- HA

Aug 2, 2010

It's What You Make of It: Take Charge!

'Life is what you make of it'... written by Amy a guest writer on

.. great advice and wonderful encouragement to be the person you are.

Jul 15, 2010

Where have I been ?

I 've been nowhere in particular, just missing in action on this front. 

Been thinking about the me as a mother. What should I do or what do I need to do ?.

It comes down to what I need to do for me before I can take care of the what I should do for the kids.

If you are a lone parent, you might understand what I am saying. 

I'm sorry for not visiting many of you lately, but I will come.

Jun 16, 2010

School hols - tough on me

It’s the school hols, the long mid year break.
It’s tough being a working mum and tougher during school breaks.

I don’t have that many days of annual leave to take off, so it's quite hard to plan outings around. Annual leave totals 11 days only (call the company stingy.. whatever.. that’s life).  I seriously envy those who have 20 or more days leave.

I sneer and roll my eyes at politicians who babble about work-life balance and push pro-family wonders (where's the time to enjoy it) and can't figure why this country can't grow it's population. Well the happy-go-lucky young have one answer and the experienced have a different response. Good luck to the politicians.

I always wish I can do more with them during their hols, I would like to spend more time with the kids but I can’t afford to. I keep 1 or 2 days for Christmas and some days for the second big break at the end of the year and of course a 1 or 2 for possible emergencies. Sounds pathetic, I agree.
This year I decided the schools would have to meet my timing after office hours for any compulsory PT stuff (if they weren't scheduled on a Saturday), they are not entitled to my leave.

My girl is busy with the major exam that is not too far down the road, and the boys essentially entertain themselves with their electronic games and TV.
You’d think they have more than enough to occupy themselves, yet they still get bored. Grandparents help but I don't want them to bother much, it is their time to relax and the kids can be stressful.

It’s difficult trying to get them to follow some work schedule(to keep in touch with the books) when you are not there. In the office, I am more distracted by their phone calls and keeping track of what they are doing at home.

Sigh....more leave would be good...

May 19, 2010

A Day in the Life..... coping yet not.!

The days seem to move by fast, the exams are over for now. Last weekend, I took the kids out after breakfast.  Crazy ! Yes, since the HEAT has been excessive.
I thought, let's get them out of the house for a while before it gets too hot (which is an understatement) and away from the Gameboys,  game consols and PC, I'm sure you get the picture. 
I also thought it would be good for me,  provided I could also have an air-conditioned suit made. A few hours wouldn't kill me, we'd be back after lunch. What I needed and what I've been needing for a while now, is some quiet.

I took them to the beach for a couple of hours, one rode a bike and the other two roller bladed and of course there was much complaining after that - skin abrasions,  this too tight and that worn out and .. muscles aching .. , . goodness I thought what are they going to be like at 30 !. 
I sat by myself in the warm shade, read some but mostly observed the beach, the water,  people and dogs around me. I got my quiet for a couple of hours, when the kids were off on their jaunt, but it was not enough;  I don't think I really sank into it..

Lately the buzz at home gets to me. Sometimes I can't seem to organise the kids. The moment I step into the house, they bombard me with narratives, instructions from school, their itinerary for the day , the next day and 'can I do this' and 'can I go to a friend's house tomorrow or can I go to the park etc etc etc. Mostly it's late, and I 'handle it' , and try to cover as much ground with them. Time seems to be my worst enemy like a stalker.  
I forget I'm in charge but go with the flow of what needs to get done. And then,  every  1 out of 2 nights, there will be two (any) who get noisy and quarrelsome among themselves,  and all I want to do is yell at them and chase them to bed.

Little things just add to the irritation - untidy desk, books not stored away, loose stationery etc.  I just deal and cope with it.  I 'm tired, I try to read to get away, ignore the buzz, but am not relaxed.

You know what they say about repressing emotions, sooner or later it will find an out.

I don't know if this situation is unique or quite common. I suppose it is time for a time-out but some action is needed as well .

Mar 12, 2010

A Day in the Life ... 'Listening' to my Kids is not easy ....

'Listening' to other people is easier done than listening to my kids.
When you listen, you don't just do it with the ears but you hear with an open mind and heart.  And our response should be one that is the result of digesting and absorbing that message. It should not be a reaction.

A lesson for me this week ......

I experienced a one-way shouting match with my teenager, while I remained calm I  realised I was reacting to her and not responding  (and this is something I don't do when I interact with others). She was obviously reacting to my response.
At the end of it, though she did recover herself soon enough to realise she was in the wrong and that made me happy.  While the 'shouting and the walking away' had reminded me of my husband's character,  the recovery was all her own.

Doing this with outsiders is easier than with the kids, I realise. I already have built in biases, expectations, presumptions and familiarity with the kids that does not lend itself to the patience needed. So by reflex my 'listening' to them becomes ineffective because my mind is already interpreting before the message is completed. As a result,  my response will not be the objective one it should be.

Ironically, the difference is because I care more.

I have to work at this.

Mar 7, 2010

Memo to Me : Patience is a virtue AND Hard Work

~ ~ Gentle Reminder:

It takes patience to do things properly and patience is required in the waiting for something good to grow. It's like gardening. It takes time for a  tiny seedling to grow and show it's first shoots and like that it takes time to cultivate a habit and behaviour.
So it is for a relationship with a child(old or young) and developing his habits - it does not just take lots of love and care but PATIENCE too.
I have always thought I had lots of it, but it is insufficient it seems.

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”  And you need perseverence too.  Hard to practise in this fast moving world, when we have so little time.

To grow and refill patience, be present in the here and now, or as May Sarton suggests consider gardening - “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”

When dealing with a teenager, keep Lao Tzu's advice in mind:  'Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Be still and allow the mud to settle.'

Sometimes less is more.

Feb 20, 2010

A Day in the Life - An Ice Cream a day....

Coit Tower, Cookie Summit... Chocolate Twist... Minty Delight....... guess where I've been.

It's been a tough week all round, I decided I needed a treat myself  But of course I couldn't just go by myself and 'not take' the kids. Then again, except for my girl, the boys didn't deserve a treat.
So I decided to get them to work for it throughout all of Saturday in order to get ice cream.

Yup.. ok ...let's call it what it is ...I resorted to the oldest trick in the book .. I tried to bribe the kids to be good. ...   (bad bad mummy .. !!) . Hey, sometimes you just have to forget the rulebook and go with you've got. . ... desperation.

Well it worked.
The youngest boy managed to get all his study work done and actually watched very little TV. The second child, well it gets better. He actually spent more time focusing on getting the reading  done - his very difficult classic tale by R L Stevenson for his book review. That was major progress; not much TV and not much gaming time either.

SO, I didn't have that difficult a time today, less nagging and all,  I actually got more of my tasks done.
Thank God for small mercies and ice-cream.

And I must add,  I just enjoyed a good long laugh after reading one blog spilling onto the other.. .if you need a laugh check out Farila's and Betty's latest post.

Have a good weekend.

                            ........Now what do I do for an encore tomorrow ??

Feb 6, 2010

A Day in the Life .....Busy busy ..done and to do...

This past week has been a hectic one at work. My PC kept restarting on me right in the middle of typing and the office decided they would switch it to one of the newer ones since it was obviously TIME. So in between waiting for restarts, loosing bits of data and conversion I still had deadlines to keep and tasks to get done.
Fortunately the damage was minimal because my data was already backed up or I would be crying over that. Amazing that we can't live without the computer in the office.
I have so missed my bible reading some too because of the late tired nights

This is the weekend.
I keep thinking that I need to start on it but I haven't done my assignment yet.
There was a PT meeting in the youngest boy's school. I took care of that and then ran some minor errands. Just after lunch I got to it, no not the assignment. 
The thought had been nagging me for a while about cleaning out the children's room. It was way overdue. Everyday I would come back from work to see the state of their room (piles of school books and papers old and new)  and I tell myself I have to do it myself. Their tidying efforts weren't cutting it. 
And today I did it.  It felt great to throw out a lot of unwanted stuff..old books and tonnes of old used papers, broken toys, old stationery... and clear out the drawers and organise them between non-school and school stuff. 
It felt good to see space.  Cleaning is Therapeutic.

I had to fight with my girl to clean out her place, she refused to let me touch them. I knew why of course. So many posters!  I managed to do one of the smaller cabinets with her art and craft stuff but not quite the writing desk. Have you ever tried cleaning off wax jell from the base of a drawer?  She said she would clean the desk. Well I checked, it was a little tidier but not fully to my satisfaction.  I will probably have to take a look at her wardrobe soon. She is not the most organised person.

Tomorrow is church day and marketing day, the fridge is almost bare, I will have to stock up extra too, since the double holidays are up soon. The Chinese New Year means the shops would be closed longer that usual.
The assignment will have to wait til then.

Nov 23, 2009

Defending the Motherhood - plainly speaking...

In one of our studies for a project a while back we came across a lady who was a mother and wife and yet would not recommend marriage to the young or persuade them to have kids. I had talked about this in my earlier post on Family, it's a controversial subject today, arising out of a declining local population.  Most of the responses from men and women were mostly neutral and politically correct.

There was this one particular lady that stood out because she was probably the most pragmatic person in that group with her response. She did not talk about love and rewarding experiences. She used to teach until she had her first child.  She said that the young today have no patience. They have most awareness for themselves only. They have enjoyed life too much in their early age. How would they last in a partnership, how would they look after their child. I don't believe they can make that sacrifice. Especially young women.
For her own experience, she had found it a hard road but by sheer will, she made the sacrifice because it was expected and it was the right thing to do and they(husband and wife) had wanted kids. Her spouse, yes they were still married, she felt did not have to sacrifice and do as much, because they are not expected to or they did not feel the compulsion because they did not bear the child, eventhough they were his too. The responsibility was heavier on her. On hindsight, would she go through that again? No she would not. But don't mistake her " l love my children, I wouldn't turn back the clock" and her voice held a passion describing how they filled her life. She continued that many young people have had a taste of seeing the world, why would they stop themselves from more. Cost of living is high, as a couple even higher, add children in the mix and 'lifestyle is severely curtailed'. There was no bitterness in her tone that I could read.

No one argued or agreed with her. They were quite stunned by her response. She was not regretting the kids, she was regretting not having been able to live more. She also sounded like she was defending a cause. I suppose that was what it was about, young people should get married and have children for the right reasons, but by their own choosing and not because of  public campaigns and incentives.

Is it too harsh, are our youth really that materialistic. There was a lot of insight in her statements and hit home reality of thoughts of my own trials. After you take away the frills, it is in truth a vocation one must desire and be prepared to be responsible for at all costs - with sacrifice. You have to climb that mountain first, all the way to enjoy the reward at the peak.

We do lots for Love and therein lies the reward. As Mother Teresa said, that is what we will be judged on at the end - how much we love and not how many successes we scored or how much of the world we had seen.

Nov 16, 2009

A Day in the Life ..... a crisis of age and dress code

Trying my patience
My middle child's mission in life is to test my patience. I took him to get a couple of pieces of clothing which he would need for his school farewell functions. It was the weekend,  I asked him to check if he had the relevant colour shirt or pants for his themed 'black and white' night. He said no, then he tells me, he also needed some khaki or beige bermudas for a morning skid too.. 'ok lets go look for them now', he didn't hesitate. Usually he is not able to decide on the spot and needs to ponder on the slightest things.  I suggested that he could also wear a black top with his black jeans but NO, to him 'black and white' means just that; no white and white or black and black. No point trying to explain,  he just couldn't accept it. He didn't want to 'be embarrassed'.  OK I let  it go, This is one of his characteristics, when something appears defined in no uncertain terms by the school, that's the way it is,  it's hard to go into a grey area. I hope this aspect will improve with maturity.

We went to one of the major shoppings malls which also had a major department store.  'Almost formal' white shirts are not that common, especially for boys. So we left the department store and went into 'Kiddie Palace' which sells almost anything for kids 0 - 15 yrs old. He was not happy, he didn't want to go in. I had to drag him into the store. I had to drag him to look at the colours and then drag him to the changing room to try out the size for the bermudas. He didn't want to carry the clothes. He refused to try on the shirt, I placed it against his back to be sure it was not oversized, and let him go on that. But I was adamant he try on the bermudas. He created such a fuss, like I was doing this for my own benefit. Through the changing room door. he kept sighing and grumbling, he didn't want it. At this point you can imagine, I had steam coming out of my ears as I maintained control of my temper. The colour was right, so what was wrong, he refused to say.  I had to drag answers out of him on the fit through the door. I must have sounded like a mad woman to some of the shoppers, harassing my son. In the end we left the shop with the desired items for his events.

As we left the mall, and he was calmer, I asked him what was wrong with him. I reminded him that he's now assured he won't have to fret on the eve (like many a school occasion), he needed those items for his own comfort - to fit in, to conform - fine I could understand that.

The problem APPARENTLY was the name 'kiddie'. He's 12, in his mind he is not a 'kiddie', so he associated the clothing likewise; he felt he would be embarrassed by being seen in 'childish' clothes. There was really nothing childish about them, OMG  I thought! I explained to him that those clothing labels (brands) could also be found in the bigger department stores or any other non-'kiddie' labelled shop. And also that the store name was just that - a name because they sold items for kids upto 15 yrs at least. Mercifully,  he understood and accepted (sigh).  The alternative would have been to spend double on a Levi's bermudas just to ensure his comfort. That would have been acceptable because Levi's is not perceived as 'kiddie'.

Intricacies of a 12 year old (male) mind:
A little later on the way home,  I said to him, 'you are 12, technically you ARE a kid'.  He said  he didn't want to be 12. How old did he want to be.. he said 18. Boy oh boy and WHY IS that, he wants 'to drive a car'!!  I left it at that, 'you'll get there sooner than you realise'  my daily quota for reason had reached a limit.

When he gets to 18, I think I'll remind him of this story. I'm sure by then, he'll wish he was 12.
Well I still have a another boy to go through this age crisis, I'm sure I'll be still AMAZED again and again.

Nov 5, 2009

On me, Mother and being Mom

JBR's post  My guitar- cries with me touched a chord in me. It reminded me of my mother and thoughts on my motherhood. I  pray that JBR's mother will stop being a destructive force in her life.
In my post (eons ago) I mentioned  My Mother. I won't go into specific details but there have been sore points through the first 25 years that negatively affected me.  
Mothers can be tactless, they can say the wrong things and not say the right things not because of any intention to hurt but because they didn't know better. For me, I believe she did not know better.

But I am reminded too that I am a mother.  We have more reasons today to be perfect,  we are/should be more aware of what to say,  what not to say (to compare),  when to say and how to do things with our kids;  the 'right way' , the 'better way' -  because we are more exposed, better informed and probably better educated, with way more motivations.  But alas we overlook, get tired,  are slow,  work too fast, try too hard,  can't be everywhere, can't cover all the bases, we expect more of ourselves - and then we chide ourselves for our imperfections. Yes I am.
Ah, but then the difference today, is that kids are more vocal, more open, more exposed (not that they are more aware than we were,)  they expect(demand) more of us and they are less likely to be silent about it and that is where it can hurt more.   So we are both empowered, can I say we're even now.

It's funny as a child, I feel/felt  it my responsibility not to hurt my parents in any way.  And now as a mother,  I suppose I expect the same.  But I'm not sure, does this generation of children even feel or think the same or do they feel we owe them. Sometimes it feels like it. Kids talk about being stressed today, I never used the word til I was 30.   

For all of life, I always believe there will come a balance at some point in time.  Life(God) is always fair.

I have forgiven (no grudges) and I acknowledge her sacrifices, but now and again I am reminded. I think it's a reminder for my motherhood.  I hope I will be forgiven for my imperfections, not because I did not know better but because it was my best.  We are mothers but we are unfortunately human. Let's hope for sensitivity and wisdom for ourselves and our kids.

Oct 29, 2009

Grading Mummy

My youngest son and I were talking about how his teacher grades his essays.  I was trying to explain the term 'criteria'.  He went  'mmm I guess vocabulary and grammar',  yes an ideas too I added,  how interesting his composition is, makes a difference. 
Somehow we moved to grading his teacher. At first he said ten out of ten, I prodded him and asked him his 'criteria'.. 'his reasons'.  He thought about it out loud and decided she was not perfect, she did not know everything (cause she didn't know the plural for ox was oxen !! ). His teacher got downgraded to six out of ten (oops!).
Then we moved to 'sister' - she was happy to hear him give her a grade of  eight out of ten. I tried to get her 'marked down' ..with criteria (evil grin !!, she glared at me)  Obviously sister was not that 'bad' to him.  I think it's because she shares her IPod with him eventhough she does yell at him from time to time.
Brother did not fare that well, although I suspect at a different time or day his grading would have improved.

Finally we came to Mummy, here I was thinking perhaps I should have picked a better time, I had been 'nagging' him the whole morning about the ills of procrastination to get him to finish his homework. 
But,  he gave me a ten out of ten.  Of course to be fair,  I prodded him with reminders and a chance to re-think, I tried  (really did!) to get him to lower my grade, but (happily for me)  he remained firm, brushed aside anything else I attempted to bring up.
It's a wonderful feeling to be unconditionally loved inspite of our imperfections.

Oct 8, 2009

A Day in the Life... Words

There's a rhyme that goes "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me"..  who came up with this, it's absolutely not true.

Last night I got so mad with my older son, that I almost said something terribly harsh. I don’t think he realized his words hurt me and I don’t think he even remembered it after. I was fuming mad with him and that made me literally bark at the other two kids who did nothing wrong. I stopped myself; I refused to talk to him further and asked the other two kids not to talk to me because I was upset with their brother.

He is doing the PSLE this year and that has put him under pressure for the past few months now. It is something that has been building for both him and me too. Inspite of advice, much of the stress is self-inflicted, he is a worrier by nature. He is quite unstable in his emotions where his abilities and confidence are concerned and they fluctuate so wildly, it tires me out.

An hour after the episode, I went into his room to see him and he looked at me like nothing happened, like he didn’t have that self-righteous episode.
I let him be, I decided I was not going to pursue the matter then or today and try to make him recognize the wrong. Why, because it might dig a deeper hole in me and I don’t think he will come to the realization? It will bother me some but I’ll just blame immaturity(he's 12) or stress and give him space. Motherhood can be painful in more ways than one.

This morning I am back to my calm self, and I am glad that I bit my tongue and held back the words. Taking back words does not quite relieve you and somehow once you let go of those words, it’s not like you can take it back completely and wipe it from memory. I know the words would have hurt him (even if he does not seem to be listening) and me too.
This is not the first such incident, I’ve also decided when this happens again, I’ll handle it differently with reverse psychology rather than reason, that is try another doorway into his stubborn mind.

Sep 18, 2009


Who are we with such privilege
to be made of petals and emotions.
We shade our selves and image
with colours and warm notions.
We ponder
on pale hues to gaudy design,
from head to toe, to paint and flower,
our desire to shine.
We don't need flowers, but we yearn for them.
Fantasize, yet always in realism.

Love our garments, silks, lace, in a closet too small.
Which do we match, mirror mirror on the wall,
I don't have anything to wear, I declare.
Which to choose, the blue or red I toss,
which accessories and cosmetic, the pinks to browns to gloss.
Frame the eyes with mascara and liner, to shadow smoke or natural?
Our crowning glory be neat or wild, to straighten or to curl?
Finally to match our selves from head to toes,
sandals, pumps, or wobble on stilettos,
we'll bear some pain for fashion;
add that handbag full of secrets we cannot mention.

What myriad choices, entitled and bestowed.
There is beauty within, such affection and powers.
With a gift we are endowed
that choice to birth, it is ours.
This is our station, joy and pain,
the choice of birth is not ours.
We are sunshine, we are rain.

To be love and loved,
to bear our children,
to colour the earth,
to be a woman.

(HA - 2009)

Aug 31, 2009

A Day in the life ..child vs me vs petulance

I always have to give in!

On Sunday, my youngest was acting up because of his father's advise.
A couple hours later, he was sitting quietly doing a maze puzzle, so I thought I'd broach the topic. I didn't ask him a question, I wanted to talk to him and suggest something but he just refused to hear or let me proceed.

My son took out his grouchiness on me because he could. I thought to myself, I don't deserve this. 'Fine' I said to him, 'you don’t want to talk to me, I won’t talk to you.'

I decided I wanted to be petty.

A couple of hours later I came back from the supermarket, I bought him lozenges for his throat and passed them to him, he asked what flavour and for about 40sec he talked to me about flavours before I remembered ‘hey I’m not supposed to talk to you and you don’t want to talk to me remember?’ He said ‘But I want to talk to you’.
I said ‘No, it can't work that way’ but he insisted laughingly, so ok ... thought I, let’s try the same topic.

So, it appears that at the time, he was still choking on the advise his father gave him and just did not want to hear me. So the lesson.. don’t get to the touchy subject immediately, work around it, assess child’s mood then get to it.

So I always have to give in, sigh.. some days are tougher than others.

Aug 27, 2009

My 'hyper' child Story

My youngest is hyper. Constantly moving, even when he's standing still, he's literally 'dancing' on the spot. Ever so often we wonder how to run down the batteries. They’re way better than Energizers. They’re way too long lasting and don’t seem to need recharging. He falls asleep later than when he gets into bed. What keeps him going, It’s not sugar that’s for sure, he never ever tires.

My theory is that his constant movement keeps him recharged like a dynamo. You know why, because when he’s punished and made to sit still or stand still, he can actually fall asleep there on the spot .. quite amazing ..and that’s because like the dynamo, he’s not able to charge !

He loves cars. At the age of four, he discovered the wonder of a book. The book was the steering wheel of his imaginary car. (I suppose one has to begin somehow!) He would use any book, hold it in his two little hands like a steering wheel and ‘drive’ around the house with appropriate sound effects of course. Apparently he behaved in true form at the kindergarten too . The pre-school teacher complained to me that at reading time he had all the kids following his example. Of course I’d have a chat with him I said, but secretly I thought, that must have been an amusing sight to see... traffic jam in the nursery class.

Anyway 4 years later I’m glad to say, he’s getting into the hang of actually reading books on his own without me having to drive him to it (no pun of course)..

Aug 4, 2009

My Teenager

Little by little, I watch her inch out of the circle. Their friends and their outings grow more appealing than together time with the younger siblings.
But of course if it's shopping, there's nothing like time with mom if that teenager is a girl.

What generation gap, it' s the wallet gap lah!!

You want them to be independent yet, want to protect them forever, and keep them at your side. You can only hope that the foundation's sturdy, the bridge holds.. that that communication connection you've built, will be constant despite all else. Being mom means being their always no matter what, hope she will trust with all things. She's seen more and heard more than I did at this age, is she wiser? That's hard to say, because from all that exposure, there is much information and more expression to discern and sort.

Fortunately and unfortunately, we mothers of the young generation today are a different breed from our own mothers, because of our evolved lives, we are somehow still 'younger at heart', involved in both the complex webs of our own lives and children's. Events and interests overlap in many areas so much so that non-interaction is quite impossible; constrained only by the time we are at work and they in school. We help them with maths, they teach us Xbox.

Study is always tough work..but she is strong and manages to push herself along.
She can be protective of her brothers but she is still capable of getting into a cat and dog fight with the youngest fellow.

I'm not in a hurry for her to 'grow up' yet but it seems like girls just do that faster anyhow.

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