Is the World spinning faster ?

Where did the time go? In a blink, I can't believe it. 

Only a quarter of the year to go, September is soon ending. 

While I walked was I unconscious

through months, days, hours, only to realize I'm here now. 

I still recall the beginning of the year

thinking 'it's going to be a long year' 

and yet here I am now. 

Work and kids are consuming but Troubles are too, 

that's where Time went flying, into a black hole of distraction. 

Can I slow it down? 

But then it has not been a good year, so let it fly, next year will be better. 

I'll have to attempt to be more present. 

When I think back, read what is written, lived through, had created along that way, 

I am quite glad; there are fruits and flowers, it's not all barren or sad. 

There are footprints too, not mine alone.
Where did time go?

Thoughts while missing in action again ...

I suppose this is going to happen now and then... I haven't had the time to post or blog visit and when I had the urge to do so ... my pc was occupied. That's what happens when you have 3 active gamers at home who love to hog the pc.
...Work has been hectic too... so very little inspiration has been flowing through.

I am behind on my course assignment, but mostly I have been trying to distract myself I think from the impending proceedings.  I am strangely not worried nor aggrieved in any way about the current process or what will soon be.  My main thoughts are on the kids and what it is going to mean for us which is mostly continuing on to the next stage in life. For them, nothing much will really change except a physical change of address and life will continue very much as it has for the past year, though they may not realize it at first

For me I suppose there is nothing to miss that has not already been missing for a long time. I look forward to live life, to laugh more freely and hope to stop grieving over naivete and for what cannot be regained.

Altruism ... is it dead?

'altruism is dead' .. someone said this and set me thinking....

Can anyone be truly altruistic?  Me thinks, it is impossible. 

It is defined as selfless concern for the welfare of others.

A lady on the train gives up her seat to the pregnant one. She didn't do it spontaneously, she did it because 3 pairs of eyes were boring into her and I think that made her uncomfortable.

There are times when I think that I would rather not sit at all, 'just let someone else have it'. That's not being altruistic, I 'm just avoiding the hassle of relaxing and then having to give it up to someone. 

Is it possible in this day and age to be kind for kindness sake. Morality and courtesy are preached as correct and appropriate behaviour.   Is there an expectation of future returns as they say 'one good turn deserves another'.  We constantly seem to look ahead.

When I buy someone a cup of tea, do they feel obliged, do I expect them to feel obliged? 

When someone buys me a cup of tea, I do feel obliged.  Can I forget it, and treat it as an altruistic offer ?.

Scratching my head...it's a Gen Y thing!

'It's too quiet to study'.
Why are young people so uncomfortable with silence?

  

'Can't sit still'.
Why are they constantly fidgeting and moving.

'What's the hurry?'
There always seems to be a fire somewhere except with homework.

"Bored !"
Aren't there a million and one things to do, watch and play ? 

I have two good legs, how am I 'lame' ?

Superman is not the only one wearing his underwear on the outside today, of course I knew that !

Just because her name is Gaga, doesn't mean you have to go on about her, do you? 

What's changed in the cycle of life between my time and there's.
Isn't the womb still a quiet place ?
Were they plugged in to the phone when we were ?
Were we walking faster than our parents?
Is it the extra goodness they have - the food, the gadgets, the vitamins ?


Has the English vocabulary changed since I last went to school?

Perhaps it's the hole in the ozone !

If this is Generation Y, whoopeee...life will get more interesting, I can't wait to see Gen Z !

Musing about Life .... again.

A couple of interesting statements I recently read and my thoughts:

" It is engagement that counts................The question of meaning of life is ... not edifying. One must immerse oneself into the river of life and let the question drift away"- Irvin D Yalom.

My encounter with several different persons in my life tells me a few things. There are 3 different categories of people :-

1) the group that is constantly whining or looking on and waiting for something to move us 

2) the group that is in the flow and moving of their own volition or 

3) that group that is in the flow but are merely being carried by it.. ..

Sitting on the banks and letting life flow by slows us down; age faster and mental faculties seem fuzzy or cluttered. This applies to both old and young alike. It can be quite depressing to live that way and be with someone like that too. It's harder to shake an elderly person out of it, but there's hope for the younger one yet. 

On the other hand when we are constantly moving with it (2nd,3rd group) we do grow. 

BUT it is only in the second group that we are really alive when we act(engage) and that is where the hard work comes in. 

But then having said that, it is good to slow down once in a while and observe the life that flows, to breathe in, take stock and refresh. Being in the first group only sometimes is alright and necessary.

The other interesting statement from Dr Yalom, "...freedom has a darker side" . Why, because we are then responsible for ourselves. 

There are times when I wish I did not have this freedom,  there just seems to be too much ground to cover and too many people involved,  I want someone else to shoulder them and lead me. And that would be being a apart of the first and third group. 

The group to be in mostly, is the second group.

You Can't always have Everything !

Is it possible to have everything you want and be happy ?
I think life is what we make of it BUT God keeps the balance.

The kids constantly lament about unimportant things like why 'I didn't get' perfect eyesight or perfect teeth, 'why didn't God give me more brains, why do I have to study harder than others, why didn't i get straight hair, why they weren't born rich etc etc etc '.

It is difficult for the kids to comprehend when I say that God is always fair or Life is always fair and  'you can't have everything' .  It's difficult for them to get out of the narrow view where they can only see their personal imperfection without being able to look at the many more good things about themselves by comparison.

It's also tough getting them to pay serious attention to the idea that God knows us and sees all,  there is no hiding from him; and we don't always get what we ask for. The question I put back to them - 'do you deserve it' and 'is it good for you'.

------------------------------------
There are many situations when I forget and think too, that others are luckier than me. But I am constantly reminded that nothing stays perfect' and we are given our moments.

I used to think if you have 1 child and that child is perfect, what more could one ask for. You pour all your resources into one lucky child and it pays off well, isn’t that great ?  BUT then I know that no life is perfect and it is forever changing.  
One of my close friends has a son (1 child only by choice), he went to a good school, went abroad to study, came back found a job. BUT my friend recently complained to me ‘he does not want to settle down, he's always out ‘.   I said 'you can’t always have everything !' and she said 'we can only hope', I had to agree.
Ok so maybe I wanted to say GOD is fair !.

Jer 17: 9
" The heart is more devious than any other thing, and is depraved; who can pierce its secrets?
I, Yahweh, search the heart, test the motives, to give each person what his conduct and his actions deserve"

Love - Simple & Difficult

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."  Song Of Solomon 8:7.
But man can. Call me cynical,
I don't think that Love is instinctive; it's not some sentiment embedded deep in one's nature that it persists despite all else. It is a product of our upbringing and our social environment.  It is a choice made that gets buried so deep and therefore it implies it can be 'un-done',  (like water erodes the soil to expose the roots) dug away gradually until it appears near the surface and then our mind [and all it remembers] decides to love or not to love. We nurture it again or not  with reasons for that choice.
Love implies absolute acceptance - simple yet difficult, is it do-able ?

These statements from my earlier post The Choice to Make, ring true  - by M S Peck who said “The desire to love is not itself love….Love is an act of will …. Namely an intention and action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. No matter how much we may think we are loving, if we are in fact not loving, it is because we have chosen not to love and therefore not love despite our good intentions. On the other hand, whenever we do actually exert ourselves in the cause of spiritual growth, it is because we have chosen to do so. The choice to love has been made.”

If we choose it all the time and make it so, then there will be more ...as is implied by Mother Theresa who said  "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."   On the other hand this seems simple. 

No change please

Imagine an angel came into your dream and asked you,
'pick one moment of your life in the past that you would like to change'.

I remember the moment. I was away on holiday with my folks, sitting by the beach on a rock, I had been thinking about my 'courtship' which was a couple of years old then.  In that moment I had had second thoughts about his(my husband's) suitability, 'rightness' for me.  But I retreated from those thoughts and did not dwell deeper.  Is that what they mean by the callowness of youth?

IF nothing else will change,  I would choose to change how my thoughts proceeded at that moment in time. 
But that would be impossible unless I forget all else that I have to be thankful for now because of that moment.   So dear Angel, I do not wish to change.

Our instincts work perfectly, we only see it in hindsight,  ....  it's just that our hearts don't always sync with our brain.  Life's like that, we know what must be done in our heads but the heart, is it stronger or does it just lag behind?  Maya Angelou(poet) is right to have said  'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel'.
So why would the angel ask me this?  Perhaps that's a sign - to purge that moment,  a gentle reminder to STOP dwelling on the past because now I know I would not change it. 

Voltaire said 'Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.' and he is right too.

A Purposeful Title

For the little lives we bring forth, our emotions ebb and flow, yet they are for us the most beautiful distraction.  Here I am,  a mom of three  and will be always a mom.  For  the children, be they  near or apart,  our souls are forever linked,  for we are and will be their mothers always.
But then there's more to it,  please read between the lines, you should not judge a blog by its' title.
There are hidden layers pulled from the shadows, poured out in these pages,  and soon from anonymity I become a known stranger.
I look forward to these moments when I arise to write, it has taken too long but am learning to let all go, and  just be real; discovering about being me.
As I stumble along into the right path,  I believe I am here in this moment,  because of the recent chapters of my life.  I am not alone, mostly finding my way like you. And when all the pages are arranged together, you will see, it is like the journey of a single mum.


It's sort of amusing how I ended writing this, the blog link idea came to me after I started to write,  should I call it a  'blogloquy'  ..
... feeling strangely moody today..God Bless  ....