I have three blogs, did I ever mention that? They are all different personal journeys(not in the schizo sense :) ) but I can't combine them.I'll say one thing though, it helps much to pen down thoughts when they are in chaos.
The first one I started was a journal of our pain, it was a record of the abuse. I used it to help myself draw a picture of the pattern of abuse because that seemed to be the only way to make someone understand and see what was not right. It's not been touched for a while now. That's a good thing.
When I started reading blogs it was in the hope of finding help and what can I do?. T here was nothing much locally, lots from overseas. It helped to know my problem was not unique and not totally hopeless.
This one here is my second blog, started a few months after the first, it was more for my personal feelings (in poetry sometimes) and thoughts of those trying times when I had to find my Courage and create some heaven now (July 09). We lived with a Volcano, and there was much Inner Struggle (Aug 09) and the Frustration with Family services.in a tiny nutshell.
But there were moments of light and moments to sing (Sep 09). I worried but Believe me when I say I had divine help with timing, connecting and arrangements that just fell into place during the transition. Things beyond my control were taken care for me.
As I read back, I think - thank God it is over but thank God also for the blessings of miracles that accompanied the period of upheaval.
This blog is now more about what goes on deep within - my head and my heart, many thoughts and feelings which I cannot openly share.
My third blog, is the me that I can share with the world as me but more as someone's daughter, sister, friend or mother and Godma. It's the me that does not talk about the shadows and the past but the life I have moving forward. That blog identifies me. If you do connect the two, don't give me away please (email me).
Only a handful know my inner story in Blog 2. Fewer still know my inner struggles in Blog 1.. but I hope somewhere I have helped someone who may have been in the same deep dark hole as I had been.
