Memo to Me : Patience is a virtue AND Hard Work

~ ~ Gentle Reminder:

It takes patience to do things properly and patience is required in the waiting for something good to grow. It's like gardening. It takes time for a  tiny seedling to grow and show it's first shoots and like that it takes time to cultivate a habit and behaviour.

So it is for a relationship with a child(old or young) and developing his habits - it does not just take lots of love and care but PATIENCE too.

I have always thought I had lots of it, but it is insufficient it seems.

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”  And you need perseverence too.  Hard to practise in this fast moving world, when we have so little time.

To grow and refill patience, be present in the here and now, or as May Sarton suggests consider gardening - “Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”

When dealing with a teenager, keep Lao Tzu's advice in mind:  'Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Be still and allow the mud to settle.'

Sometimes less is more.

Happy endings & Roses

Below is one of my favourite poems by George Eliot, her dream in the 19th century still works for me today.

If I went by writer's names, I would have totally bypassed this piece all together because the first book I read by George Eliot during my school days was 'The Mill on The Floss'.  It was such a sad story (depressing too, the story of a young girl) it left quite an impression, I never picked up another book by her.  

I don't like sad endings I confess - be it book or movie..probably life too.   I try to avoid them (can't do that in life though !). Strangely, now that I think back on it,  I did quite a few of those tragedies in school like King Lear, Coriolanus, Wuthering Heights, Things Fall Apart (except for Midsummer Night's Dream) few more...were they trying to depress us (late teens) out of Literature !!  ......that's enough of that.. let's move on to peaceful images..

You love the roses - so do I. I wish

The sky would rain down roses, as they rain

From off the shaken bush. Why will it not?

Then all the valley would be pink and white

And soft to tread on. They would fall as light

As feathers, smelling sweet; and it would be

Like sleeping and like waking, all at once!

(Roses by G Eliot)

Sun Rise

Did you see it today,

it rose somewhat hesitant.

Glorious rays seemed penitent,

generous hues slowly unfolding

a deep orange haze yielding.

The morning clouds seemed hungover,

in shadows they were.

Rudely roused from their bower,

they were slow to awaken

to make way for the one, so golden.

A little sparrow eyed me as I watched

waiting for the light and warmth; to be touched.

It moved not from its' bough, a soft tweet,
yet not impatient.

I was woken by a whisper you see
to watch creation,

to witness a sight,
the coming of light. 

(HA- 2009)

A Midnight Walk

A dog is barking,
it goes on and on.
No one is listening.
All else is quiet,
but sounds are abundant.
Televisions strain
through the night air,
like conversations
at each other.
Eyes scan the drive,
my ears have
gone before me.
Soft guitar strums,
a whiff of barbecue
floats by.
Tiny Christmas lights
wink through fences,
and shyly out windows.
A gentle breeze
lifts branches,
black leaves do a jig,
the clouds start to part,
enter a lofty moon.
Shortly she departs.
In and out,
playful stars dart,
disappearing too soon.
Faraway, a faint wail sounds,
alas, another dog
begins his revelry,
the stillness is broken.
A taxi drives by,
to drop a neighbour,
a dog begins howling,
a cat screeches,
dashes for cover,
a trash bin lid falls.
Stillness returns,
the road glistens,
sleep beckons,
televisions chatting,
no one is listening.

(HA -2009)

Beneath the Waves

See the waves on the ocean, of constant movement,
of shifts, a rising, ebb and  flow.
It is each one of us, until finally
each crashes, breaks or fades on some shore.
Each gathers force to rise to greater heights, so busily,
to become stronger than the next, gathering more
to overcome and ride over the wave in front.
Time is of the essence.
The surface teems with agitation, chaos and impatience.

Yet look down, just beneath, the vast ocean,
a limitless expanse, where all is calm.
Step into Life that teems alongside a great emptiness.
None is harried, none is loud.
Simplicity is foremost, time takes a back seat.
Let go, surrender and be free
of turbulence, restriction or constraints.

There is much to explore, look to any direction,
feel every sense come to life.
Consciously aware,  let the mind breathe in a clarity
of experience, of beauty, colour, movements, a tranquility.
Light at our center glows bright once more.
Before long, the deepest journey of our self has begun.
An exploration of depth, splendour,
serenity and awareness will come to pass.
Live life not as a wave but as the ocean.

(HA 2009)

Life's like That

Over the past weeks, I have been attempting to watch (observe) things as they unfold as opposed to letting things whiz by. I do see that the world is not actually roaring past us, I see it unrolling. You see more, hear more of life around you . And interestingly ‘time’ itself feels like it moves differently, somehow slower, although in actual when I look at my watch it has moved faster. I have been ‘observing’ the interaction of the kids and I keep learning new things (eventhough they have me climbing the walls sometimes).

Just when I think I’m getting the hang of it, ‘madness’ unfortunately (that all-consuming necessity that most of us are occupied with from 9-6 everyday) intervenes, puts me back on that fast track. In the industry I’m in, it’s impossible to have a controlled consistent workflow. When clients jump, we jump too and when they’re totally disorganized we have to clear the path , fight through the chaos to meet deadlines.
It’s easy to think I should or can control that but some motions are just easier to be carried away with, so that the job can be expedited, it’s a necessity.

And then I return to the life outside of that, that matters and try to catch the old rhythm again. I guess I have to wait for work to return to normal again.
That’s just the way life is.

The Smell of Rain

Last Monday, we decided we were going to walk the perimeter of the estate. But alas, that little grey cloud that did not look at all threatening, decided we should not take that walk.
Half way up the road, the drops started, my kids and I, we looked at each other and sighed.
They were on wheels so they rushed back. I was on foot but I decided not to rush.
What's a little wet, most of all I wanted to smell the rain.
From my earliest years, this is one of the moments I  replay in my head, I have always enjoyed the smell of rain.  I look up into the endless sky like I did since the land before time, but still 'I cannot see where the rain starts from'.

Sometimes before it reaches us, I can get the scent of it and look forward to its' arrival.
It brings to mind memories of playing carefree in the garden, the field, of netball days, watching the rain from my childhood home window, images of wet green leaves fluttering from the drops.
I can't really pinpoint what it does for my senses - the clean air or the cleaning process, the grey sky,  the torrential sound and then the stillness after the rain.
Perhaps it's the nostalgia that connects it; after all rain has been a constant throughout my life.