As I tried to title this post I was trying to figure, what am I coping with ?
There are just too many areas.
First I thought 'school', the kids timetable and their or my or the schools' push towards academic performance is taking it's toll. Yes exams are around the corner. Exams always seem to be around the corner.
Dealing with the ex is no longer a problem directly but dealing with his antics through playing with the kids'head is another kind of problem. I am learning how to deal with that too, unfortunately I can't say the same for the kids who are neither too young or too old. You can't force courage or grow it when the fear never really went away and strength never had the opportunity to take root. My ex can't seem to think first for the goodness of his kids except his own selfish end. To him, it's still about winning the game and that means using the kids.
In this instance I think prayer is the only strategy and everyday I strive to keep the kids going at what is important for them.
Then there is work. Does such a thing exist, work-life balance?. No job is stable today, perhaps if you work in the public sector. Dissatisfaction is one thing, but holding on to it and making it work does not help when the economy is so volatile.
Inflation used to be subtle and silent, but today it's the opposite and so tangible that you hear and feel it constantly when you shop for basics or have a simple meal.
Besides that I've been thinking of moving out of my sector to something more worthwhile but that's difficult at my age too.
So we plod on and make whatever works work.
My mind is constantly racing even when I try to do something restful and calming, there's always something to worry about, to plan for, to frown about and just so little to smile about.
It's hard to just throw caution to the wind.
No I'm not feeling melancholy, just low on faith and irritated by all these bumps along the road.
First I thought 'school', the kids timetable and their or my or the schools' push towards academic performance is taking it's toll. Yes exams are around the corner. Exams always seem to be around the corner.
Dealing with the ex is no longer a problem directly but dealing with his antics through playing with the kids'head is another kind of problem. I am learning how to deal with that too, unfortunately I can't say the same for the kids who are neither too young or too old. You can't force courage or grow it when the fear never really went away and strength never had the opportunity to take root. My ex can't seem to think first for the goodness of his kids except his own selfish end. To him, it's still about winning the game and that means using the kids.
In this instance I think prayer is the only strategy and everyday I strive to keep the kids going at what is important for them.
Then there is work. Does such a thing exist, work-life balance?. No job is stable today, perhaps if you work in the public sector. Dissatisfaction is one thing, but holding on to it and making it work does not help when the economy is so volatile.
Inflation used to be subtle and silent, but today it's the opposite and so tangible that you hear and feel it constantly when you shop for basics or have a simple meal.
Besides that I've been thinking of moving out of my sector to something more worthwhile but that's difficult at my age too.
So we plod on and make whatever works work.
My mind is constantly racing even when I try to do something restful and calming, there's always something to worry about, to plan for, to frown about and just so little to smile about.
It's hard to just throw caution to the wind.
No I'm not feeling melancholy, just low on faith and irritated by all these bumps along the road.
