Perfect Existence

What is the perfect life, 

the 'ever after' of a fairy tale? 

No pain, no strife, 

no sweat, no ail. 

What to do with all that happiness, 

but to seek more not less, 

adventure in the silly 

to weather reality.
Are we ever satisfied? 

With eyes opened, look outside. 

So much need, venture into the reality. 

Poverty and loneliness, it's rampant. 

Reach out, step up, you will see.

Plant a seed, make something happen. 

Dwell not that life can be better, 

but that our existence will matter.

(HA - 2009)

Wednesday Solitude: Working on defects

There were two reflections that stayed stuck to me this past week and seemed to follow me, entering my mind at the oddest times and places.

I have been worrying additionally as events are coming to a head soon, I suppose one leads to the other....

1. A reflection from the 25th week Friday encourages us to be more present, to make good use of the time that is now and not think about yesterday or worry about tomorrow. Essentially offer only the present moment to God and fill it with your worth.

Mat 6:34 "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day"

Ecc 11:4 "He who observes the wind will not sow; and he who regards the clouds will not reap"

2. In a reflection of 26th week Tuesday reading,  I am reminded of CS Lewis's Screwtape's letters, in that our defects are our weakest points through which temptation enters. 

The apostles themselves I am reminded were not perfect and Christ was patient and taught them. I am encouraged.

 

Somewhere in the reflection it goes "progress in our life of piety depends a good deal on our recognition and understanding of our dominant defect.  This is the defect which has the biggest influence on our behaviour and thinking."

So it's not the same for you and me, I will have to find my own path to holiness by working on that defect and strengthening the interior life.

Comment on comments

Comments, are they important?.  I started writing for my own personal reasons and need to put down my journey in a blog. I left it open to share my thoughts, to expose more of me, to get feedback, .if anyone thought my posts were interesting or boring or disagreeable, abnormal or real or funny or sad etc let them say so.

While I was not counting on getting many comments, somewhere along the way (a year after) it became important. Sometime after, when I was thinking about pacing my posts, it hit me,  why was I doing that? If I'm writing for me ..  write... why pace.. because I wanted to give more readers time to comment?.

So when did my objective change?  I'm not saying it's not important, it's great to have ..( I welcome it), it's good to know people are reading, people care and what they think i.e ... if I've gone off my rocks ...or are they nodding their heads and going 'yeah me too... I'm not the only strange one then.." etc..

Most of my life I have been influenced or distracted from being me and this was part of that exercise of 'learning to be me' and so in this I should stay the course. I realize writing about my current drama is a form of catharsis too and HELPS.

Like many of you, I am busy, but I have developed a fondness for reading other blogs too and seeking out those searching for answers, those with a hard climb in life, those who are muddling thru and  those who have found their way. Recently, at the height of my anxiety, I desperately searched  and found some helpful and insightful blogs to deal with the drama in my life and I am grateful these women have sought to share. 

I think it is good to leave comments where you have something to say or add and certainly very kind if it is to show you are listening. Otherwise why does one do an open blog . There must be a reason for wanting others to be able to come in contact with you, either to build an awareness or just reach out for a constant reminder that we are not alone. Cry along with me or laugh with me, comments are important to how we see ourselves, it supports our thoughts and even actions.

When my current problems get overwhelming, it helps to hear readers and read post that are encouraging.
I am grateful for those who share their experience so that I may learn.

It's a good place to rant and just being heard can be enough.

Sunday Solitude: message for the weary soul...

A pertinent reminder indeed in the Gospel reading today, for me .... ...

'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.'   
(Matthew 11: 28-30).

Sunday Solitude: calming down

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  (Jn 14:27).

Assurances .. over and over. Why fret ?

Corpus Christi, the best form of fortification ......

 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

Psalm 27:1-3 (NIV)

Mine only

No one can be there exactly 

where  I am or have been, 

it is uniquely mine. 

The feeling of fear and fearlessness 

at once beating at each other

in a realm of emotion

winding its way to free us,

the mess of impression and expression 

is wholly mine.

(HA 2010)

"The ship of my life may or may not be sailing on calm and amiable seas. The challenging days of my existence may or may not be bright and promising. Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow.

Today I am blessed. "    

- Maya Angelou's  Letter to My Daughter

Keep It Together

Keep it together today,

tomorrow will be better.

In suffering we grow He says,

yet I feel weak rather than mightier.

Perhaps it’s not yet the peak,

there’s a way to go.

How far does He wish to push me?

I wish I could know.

The right words are in my mind,

but little comfort do I feel from those.

Faith and hope are powerful tools,

if only I remember to keep them close.

I have their love and struggles to contend with,

my own I must lay low.

But then, at least their paths 

will surely be better than before.

(HA - 2010)

Stand Tall

A symbol for my journey

I perceived, the sunflower

that would be the Me.

Reaching out toward the light,

standing tall, unafraid in plain sight.

But being still, I cannot always be

and so upon a butterfly did I settle

for my tracks and ramble.

I travel where I yearn to go,

leaving trails across pages

about yesterday and of tomorrow,

filling today with words and images.

Remember. Stand tall and bright

like the charming Sunflower,

be spirited like God's butterfly,

to and fro alight and ponder.

(HA - 2010)

Be Happy

I have been hopping through the bible according to questions and incidents that occur and interestingly, I found a response (feels more like a retort)  to my brooding of late, actually it (Ecc 30:21) found me.. Many of us are reaching out for the same thing, I hope you find comfort too in these words of wisdom.

"Happiness

Do not abandon yourself to sorrow,

do not torment yourself with brooding.

Gladness of heart is life to anyone,

joy is what gives length of days.

Give your cares the slip, console your heart,

chase sorrow far away;

for sorrow has been the ruin of many,

and is no use to anybody.

Jealousy and anger shorten your days,

and worry brings premature old age.

A genial heart makes a good trencherman,

someone who enjoys a good meal."

...  . let's try to be a genial heart.

Are you up to the challenge?

Have you heard this story of the chicken and the pig  ... interesting really of how we  look at  'giving'.  One day Chicken and Pig walked by a sign outside a store that was calling for aid in kind and service to cook food for the homeless and poor. The chicken got all excited and said, 'Oh we can do our part too, I'll bring the eggs and you bring the ham". The pig thought for a minute and said, 'well the eggs are no problem for you, but the ham, well that's a challenge".
If everyone does a little it adds up, it's a simple thought really that starts it rolling. It is always  hard to commit time and effort (kids, work kids, work etc), so in some unspoken way, this was directed at me, the challenge this season is just that.
It came knocking on our door.  A few of us in the office decided we would volunteer our time and cars with a group akin to the Salvation Army - to do collection of food, gifts  and other items from people who call up to give  (which peaks particularly at this time of year). From each of us it is a small effort, together it frees up a fair bit of their resources. You feel good, the next person hears about it, and he wants to do his part too.
Guess what the boss is doing his part too.  He's letting us drive his car and better still, it's infectious,  the group has grown!
(Go ahead, take a copy of the badge above and spread your challenge story).

A Wednesday Awakening

It's been a little heavy going, it's time to retreat with a brief interlude..
I wrote the words to this song a few years ago in my note book at a time when it held a special message for me. There was a time when I thought appearances was primary but I've learnt that it is of no importance or use; just be me.  Life's like that,  we don't always have to like it, and we can be honest about it.
It is an old song (reminiscent of ancient tones) with an ever-relevant simple message (Return To Innocence -by Enigma)

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.
If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.

Inspiration and an answer

Elizabeth Mahlou's blog is inspiring. Her self-discoveries and her actions encourages the 'doing'(i.e. walk the talk).
I had a question in my earlier post 'Is it wrong if I can't forget even though I forgive'.
After reading Elizabeth's post Blest Atheist: Monday Morning Meditation #5

the answer ... it's true forgiveness only if you forget.
*

"Live in the along"

I've discovered lots of interesting writers and thinkers in the past few days through the various sites, some amazing, thoughtful, few eye-openers and plenty of sad. Whatever it is about, expressing ourselves and sharing helps us and helps others too.
Over the last day, I've quoted this poet twice, one for the words as poem and the other for it's context. The poem is by an American, the last 4 lines reminds us to live life ..

From Gwendolyn Brooks 1917 (last 4 lines) -
"And remember:
live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song,
Live in the along."

Teach our children well.
http://groups.google.com/group/mothers-always

Interesting Books

I love books. From fiction to romance to inspirational (even marketing).
The inspirational authors I've read over the years and sometime re-read include
Victoria Moran's - Creating a Charmed Life
Henri Nouwen..- numerous books both inspirational and spiritual uplifting...
Robet J Wicks - Living a Gentle Passionate Life
Wanda Nash - At Ease with Stress
A J Russel - God Calling - a special book that was recommended to me by a close friend. Sometimes you just need an answer now and that's when this book comes in handy.

Looking at the various books that I have, tells me that I have been searching for a while (and still searching)for answers and encouragement for myself and my kids.

Words move and show us how lives can change for the better, paint hope and encourage us to move on with our lives whether it's with or without change. It colours our thoughts in future planning and expectations, all with the desire to improve living.

Courage

(p.s the comment label is back for now..lost it in last 2..)

Mom Power

This morning I happened upon this group on Yahoo, it's called Mom Power, under messages there are different outpourings of questions, feelings and emotions about single motherhood and about other-half issues.

There was one in particular that encouraged women to hold on to their husbands in spite of problems.

I am not arguing for or against.. there never is a right or wrong answer, ......I'm still understanding me.

But why is it that if there are really ways for a better existence for all concerned (happy, peaceful, confident), why do we strive to hold on to the old. For all our wise words to our children, we can't make that choice.

We certainly are women, rational yet irrational, uncertainty, dependency, guilt.. I understand it, truly I do .. I'd love to ... delete it (all that stuff that gets in the way).. but it's probably this strange unique mix of female elements that gives us the power to be mothers.

Be strong.

Being mom

Being a mother is not easy. The added pressures of being a working mum make it tougher.
I have exam fever and homework fever too along with them.

If there's no supportive dad in the picture, what's tougher than tougher?

I should be thankful the kids are spaced apart by a few years, you can then concentrate on a different child for his sake at his most stressed time (PSLE, CAs, etc).
Don't believe it if anyone tells you- the older one can help with the youngest one .. doesn't happen.

Being mom means:

- being the gatekeeper
- being their conscience
- being their friend
- being their tutor
- being their counselor
- being their maid
- being the party planner (official balloon blower)
- being their nurse
- being a nag (if that's what it takes, frequency pays off)
- being happy with them even if you aren't
- being the 'whine' recipient
- being strong (even when you don't feel it)
- being their playmate (even when your feet ache)
- being their PC repairman (til they know more than you)
- being the reason for their peace
- and when life calls for it, being their champion

... there's more

It's ALL worth it when they love you back... in heaps !

The Brighter side of Life

When life throw's you a curve, don't panic. It means your life is not boring.
Stay cool don't get excited. When you get to my life, that would only represent a single drop of rain.
But if life keeps you on that curve, then panic !