A lesson for me this week ......
I experienced a one-way shouting match with my teenager, while I remained calm I realised I was reacting to her and not responding (and this is something I don't do when I interact with others). She was obviously reacting to my response.
At the end of it, though she did recover herself soon enough to realise she was in the wrong and that made me happy. While the 'shouting and the walking away' had reminded me of my husband's character, the recovery was all her own.
Doing this with outsiders is easier than with the kids, I realise. I already have built in biases, expectations, presumptions and familiarity with the kids that does not lend itself to the patience needed. So by reflex my 'listening' to them becomes ineffective because my mind is already interpreting before the message is completed. As a result, my response will not be the objective one it should be.
Ironically, the difference is because I care more.
I have to work at this.
I have to work on this very thing also
ReplyDeleteI think this is imperative! And lots of patience is needed when it comes to children.
ReplyDeleteI like that you are deep , BM.
Wishing you a happy week!
Betty
I think it's great that you're aware of this....and the benefit to work through this....will be great kids who respect you. Hang tight. Sarah
ReplyDeleteI love your musing posts specially about your kids. You are a great mother and you are giving your best.
ReplyDeleteListening to children has not been tough for me because my kids, especially my son is so soft spoken and up to the point when he talks. If I get angry with any of them they just keep quite and pick it up later. Wise kids... I am a lucky Mom