O Holy Night

Got my tree up (it's 5ft), done with 25% of my to-do list..and still working on it...almost 10 days more...

Here's a little info about one of my favourite carols - 'O Holy Night'.

Did you know that 'O Holy Night' ('Cantique de Noël') was based on a French poem 'Minuit, chrétiens' (Midnight, Christians) by Placide Cappeau (1808-1877). The music was composed by Adolphe-Charles Adam(1803-1856) in 1847, and translated from French to English by John Sullivan Dwight (1813-1893).  Cappeau was  a wine merchant and a poet and  had been asked by a parish priest to write a Christmas poem.

It is a beautiful carol, hymn and prayer.
Below is the direct English translation of the poem which was composed in French, the English version of the carol 'O Holy Night' is not a direct translation. 

Midnight, Christians, it's the solemn hour,

When God-man descended to us

To erase the stain of original sin

And to end the wrath of His Father.

The entire world thrills with hope

On this night that gives it a Savior.

People kneel down, wait for your deliverance.

Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,

Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!

The ardent light of our Faith,

Guides us all to the cradle of the infant,

As in ancient times a brilliant star

Conducted the Magi there from the orient.

The King of kings was born in a humble manger;

O mighty ones of today, proud of your grandeur,

It is to your pride that God preaches.

Bow your heads before the Redeemer!

Bow your heads before the Redeemer!

The Redeemer has overcome every obstacle:

The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.

He sees a brother where there was only a slave,

Love unites those that iron had chained.

Who will tell Him of our gratitude,

It's for all of us that He is born,

That He suffers and dies.

People stand up! Sing of your deliverance,

Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,

Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!

Be Happy

I have been hopping through the bible according to questions and incidents that occur and interestingly, I found a response (feels more like a retort)  to my brooding of late, actually it (Ecc 30:21) found me.. Many of us are reaching out for the same thing, I hope you find comfort too in these words of wisdom.

"Happiness

Do not abandon yourself to sorrow,

do not torment yourself with brooding.

Gladness of heart is life to anyone,

joy is what gives length of days.

Give your cares the slip, console your heart,

chase sorrow far away;

for sorrow has been the ruin of many,

and is no use to anybody.

Jealousy and anger shorten your days,

and worry brings premature old age.

A genial heart makes a good trencherman,

someone who enjoys a good meal."

...  . let's try to be a genial heart.

To-DO LIST ... working up the spirit ..

I haven’t had the flu in a while. This past week it caught up with me. I suppose the wet weather and ‘fickle’ weather as they say have helped the bug along.
My colleague said it’s God’s way of trying to get us to slow down. You think?
Well it got me thinking while I rested at home.
The Christmas spirit is somewhat slow on catching up with me this year, it's never been like this. I've always started preparing like 2 months ahead. It’s probably the weight in my head, like a clogged drain I can’t seem to go forward. Some 10 of my colleagues in the office have gotten together to do carols for a short session for the office, and the practises haven't quite put me in the spirit yet either.

But at least for the kids I need to kick up my feet, pull up my 'stockings' and get a move on it.
I’m really VERY LATE on my Christmas to-dos this year. 
I have decided that I am going to get a 4 ft tree as I can no longer put up the 7 ft one and it is sort of sad not to have a tree up even if you have decorations.

My daughter has done an excellent job of decorating the living room and the compound now I should just add some lights and that would be with The TREE.. I have a little crib, that will go with the TREE.

So the TREE is my project this weekend and hopefully the start of the to-do list.

Addendum: ok I added the clock to stress me out more ...:)'

Old Photo of Myself

Here’s another little fact about me, I hate being photographed, always have. In my Church’s recent 50th Anniversary Souvenir Magazine, I saw an old group photo which was taken 32 years ago. It was a picture taken at a church camp for all the teenagers involved in church groups – both boys and girls.
Firstly my hair was tied up(could see the frizz around my head), my face looked round and moody and I was sitting hunched. I was wearing some strange batik short sleeved blouse (ugghh!) .. and guess what of all the photos they had to sift through to put up here, they found THE ONE where my eyes were closed.

Back then I’d probably have looked at this picture and wished the ground would open up for me to disappear. But today I am getting a good laugh out of it and a good doze of nostalgia.
Good grief, I looked at the young faces of familiar kids and friends – everyone’s hairstyle was just AWFUL. And ok, I don’t feel too bad, not everyone had wonderful T-shirts. But then their eyes were open.

Fondly, I remember BUT I wouldn’t want to re- live those days, care-free though they were, I was so self-conscious then about mingling, (I would call it suppressed too), always sticking close to the clique (this is what comes out of schooling in a convent all the way til 16, plus little exposure otherwise) and didn’t know how to behave around the boys. But fondly I remember this bunch.
This was the bunch of kids including my brother, I hung around with mostly for church activities for several years –  we organized Christmas pageants together (created our own costumes), we played Rounders( version of baseball, and I could bat too to the boys' utter astonishment), Church campfires (put up skids),  we rode each others’ bicycles around the church compound, went to annual church camps.

It's so sad but campfires are almost extinct today. Unless you are in a uniformed group you would probably not have such things organised as outdoor camps.
All familiar faces in this old photo, some of whom I still see today in the same church. Mostly we have all gone our separate ways.

One photo, one moment yet so many moments of memories.

Ranting- moody, meloncholy, angry., frustrated..

WARNING: reading this post could seriously depress you.

Jealousy, envy lately ....  I have been thinking and comparing my life with others who just seem luckier, happier,  and much more comfortable with not a care in the world.
Generally feeling sorry for myself!.
Why me?
Trouble is just there hovering above, ahead, behind..

It's would be so easy to give it all up, run away. Have thought about dying. What if I had pretended that this was normal and let it be and just wait for the kids to grow up. What if I not rocked the boat.

But I could not - I have a responsibility to the children, they would suffer; don't I have a responsibility to my folks too?.  But they seem to be doing more of the looking out for me than the reverse.

I am tired of living with a sociopath.  I'm not being objective right now,  I know that, I'm looking at the jungle as a whole - a big mess.  I'll break it down once I've blown off steam.
There is a solution and yet not a solution, there are consequences and yet it will be better once I get over the next mountain. I believe that right now I am looking at the mountain.

Dear St Jude I'm still waiting for our peace of mind.

God does not give us more than we can handle, I hope that is seriously true......

Gentle reminder - HAVE NO FEAR

I had an earlier post in which I was ranting and feeling sorry for myself etc etc but decided I couldn't post it for young prying eyes.

I've been trying to ignore it by pretending it's not there hovering, so that I can regain my hold...but it just won't go away.
Fear seems to be my worst enemy. Life goes on and I think I am in control but it creeps up time and time again even when I think I have shoved it out the door. Courage where are you?
Have I ever revealed that by the Chinese zodiac calendar, I am a rabbit and my husband a tiger - I have always thought of myself as the sitting rabbit (like a 'sitting duck' if you guess my meaning), but on the other hand on the astro chart I am Leo the lion.. I hope the latter wins out.

I keep reminding myself, keep the faith, sometimes I do and sometimes it's difficult when anxiety comes along.   Then I think back to inner struggles, on all that has been accomplished and all that has passed and try to find my courage again so that I can face the new challenges that are about to come along. There are just some things I must do by myself .

Believe! .. let it go and leave it at HIS feet.. I will persevere.
My favourite prayer of late, still it's like I'm clinging to a vine so desperately tight before a thousand foot drop and only I know I am there :-

My Lord God

I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.

I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that

I think that I am following your will

does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you

does in fact please you.
And I hope that I have that desire

in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything

apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this,

you will lead me by the right road

though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always

though I may seem to be lost

and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me

and you will never leave me

to face my perils alone.
[The Road Ahead by Thomas Merton]

To Awards and Friendships

St Augustine reflected that 'Friendship constitutes a country for those in exile, a fortune for the poor, a remedy for the sick, and a life for the dead. It provides pleasure for those who are well, strength for the weak, and a reward for the strong.'

From two of my favourite blogs, thank you Andrea Arise to Write and  All God's Creatures for the Circle of Friends Award and Farila Chapters From My Life and Discovering Myself for the Lemonade Award..Thank you both very much for your presence in my blog, I truly appreciate it..
Both these lovely ladies have created their own rules,  so I'll modify some too ...just so we can share in the receiving and the giving to be enjoyed. ...So to all bloggie friends visiting please take them for yourselves and pass them on to your friends.

The rules -  remember to acknowledge the bloggers(do a link) where they came from, nominate 5 recipients (let them know about it) and tell us any 5 things about yourself.

There have been a few awards going round lately so I am not just going to select a few. There are many of you who pass through, it doesn't matter if you comment or not but I believe many read what I put down. For your participation alone, it's sufficient reason for me to pass these awards on and share them with any of you who would like to pick them up. There is a joy in receiving and there is a joy in giving or passing them on. I hope you experience that feeling too.

5 things about me .....
- I have to stop and smell a rose when I come across one;
- I love the smell of smashed raw garlic;
- I remember my 'glory days' fondly - I used to play badminton for school(my primary school days) and netball for school thereafter all the way to college..(that means I used to have sports in my blood..)
- I love cooking but not the washing up..
- I am afraid to get another pet dog, because I don't think I could go through loosing another one again.

Have fun sharing the awards..