JBR's post
My guitar- cries with me touched a chord in me. It reminded me of my mother and thoughts on my motherhood. I pray that JBR's mother will stop being a destructive force in her life.
In my post (eons ago) I mentioned
My Mother. I won't go into specific details but there have been sore points through the first 25 years that negatively affected me.
Mothers can be tactless, they can say the wrong things and not say the right things not because of any intention to hurt but because they didn't know better. For me, I believe she did not know better.
But I am reminded too that
I am a mother. We have more reasons today to be perfect, we are/should be more aware of what to say, what not to say (to compare), when to say and how to do things with our kids; the 'right way' , the 'better way' - because we are more exposed, better informed and probably better educated, with way more motivations. But alas we overlook, get tired, are slow, work too fast, try too hard, can't be everywhere, can't cover all the bases, we expect more of ourselves - and then we
chide ourselves for our imperfections. Yes I am.
Ah, but then the difference today, is that kids are more vocal, more open, more exposed (not that they are more aware than we were,) they expect(demand) more of us and they are less likely to be silent about it and that is where
it can hurt more. So we are both empowered, can I say we're even now.
It's funny as a child, I feel/felt it my responsibility not to hurt my parents in any way. And now as a mother, I suppose I expect the same. But I'm not sure, does this generation of children even feel or think the same or do they feel we owe them. Sometimes it feels like it. Kids talk about being stressed today, I never used the word til I was 30.
For all of life, I always believe there will come a balance at some point in time. Life(God) is always fair.
I have forgiven (no grudges) and I acknowledge her sacrifices, but now and again I am reminded. I think it's a reminder for my motherhood. I hope I will be forgiven for my imperfections, not because I did not know better but because it was my best. We are mothers but we are unfortunately human. Let's hope for sensitivity and wisdom for ourselves and our kids.