Reverie

A time for reverie
why do we not spend it.
For our minds too, need a spree
of moments to refresh, fatigue to defeat.

Each day it strives to bring fruit.
So little time is given to re-boot.
There is power in service,
we are carried away, bankrupt of emotion.
The landscape is flat, we never see that crevice,
then we die to that dedication.

Through the cracks, do you see,
there’s more, why limit experience
to just a tiny me
in the whole of existence.
Create more moments in time,
splash colours across all memory.
Feel the heartbeat surge to song and rhyme,
the landscape undulate, art takes on poetry.
Can you feel the leaves rippling,
living is more than a fruit you see,
the horizon beckons, extending,
branches sway, stand tall, we are the tree.

(HA - Sep 2009)

A Purposeful Title

For the little lives we bring forth, our emotions ebb and flow, yet they are for us the most beautiful distraction.  Here I am,  a mom of three  and will be always a mom.  For  the children, be they  near or apart,  our souls are forever linked,  for we are and will be their mothers always.
But then there's more to it,  please read between the lines, you should not judge a blog by its' title.
There are hidden layers pulled from the shadows, poured out in these pages,  and soon from anonymity I become a known stranger.
I look forward to these moments when I arise to write, it has taken too long but am learning to let all go, and  just be real; discovering about being me.
As I stumble along into the right path,  I believe I am here in this moment,  because of the recent chapters of my life.  I am not alone, mostly finding my way like you. And when all the pages are arranged together, you will see, it is like the journey of a single mum.


It's sort of amusing how I ended writing this, the blog link idea came to me after I started to write,  should I call it a  'blogloquy'  ..
... feeling strangely moody today..God Bless  ....

Moments & Snapshots

If you caught me at the wrong moment yesterday..(Gaia did).. I was fiddling with my blog look but as you can see,  I have not succeeded sob! (phew ! at least I didn't loose the posts)..For a moment I thought I'd succeeded but the buttons didn't work. I shall try again soon. 

Dear Diary ..today  I' m sort of tired , I'm thinking I'll keep it light.  ..I looked at photographs....

(No photo critiques please,  2 of these pix were taken with a camera phone. )

 

One of my proud moments with all 3 of my kids (so that would be 3 moments) , is when they each learned to ride a 2-wheeler on their own and within minutes. It was amazing really, I didn't have to hold on to the back of the seats. Amazing too because I recall it took me a few trials, some scrapes and a few days to master the balance bit. And yet they just sort of wobbled a bit and took off like it was the most natural thing to do. 

How fast they grow.....

The Zoo is one of the few favourite places which we never tire of visiting.  We love the white tigers in the Zoo and these poor guys had their moments too, through no fault of their own in Nov 08 . A worker in the Zoo had climbed into the enclosed area on purpose and gotten mauled by the animals.  I am sorry to say he did die which had appeared to be his intention according to reports.  There was talk about putting the animals down after that (because ignorant people were calling for it), but thank goodness, it was decided that it was not the fault of the animals; they were acting according to nature. I'm glad they're still there for us today and hope they will be there tomorrow for the third generation. They are an endangered species with less than 130 left in the world (when was that last count).

Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart.- Thomas Fuller

A Poem for Bloggers

This poem 'A nameless relation' was written by A Known Stranger.  He has created many other poems on his website and I have enjoyed going through them, the poems express many different emotions and life situations (I have not finished going through them all). 
I thought that this particular piece as I read it, was too good not to share because I think most of us bloggers will be able to appreciate the words, it's about you and me.   To quote Aphrodite Orania  'this is a wonderful medium for most of us, who sail on the same boat to unveil, vent, confide, find solace and feel wanted and heard'... feels like  a celebration of blogging.........


Though you are friend of mine
Known in virtual world, living
Far away and miles away,
We do talk hours together
with interest,over phones and mails ,
on subjects strange to discuss.
We know not how we sparked
nurtured and grew our bond
To a nameless relation
That seems bizarre

You hold a special place in my life
So unique, that we share
Our joy and worries , with out meeting,
We understand each other
Crossing the barriers of age and culture,
Soothing each other with respect.
I picture your smiles and moods
How you think and behave
A game which is interesting
To play and enjoy.


I wish we hold this fragile
Sphere of glassware with
tenderness and hugs galore
It will seem unusall to any
Yet our relation is unique with
fantasy to live
and cheerish for life time
It will be seem strange to many
But this special relation I have
With you , I owe is true and
…………………….
And I wish I never shatter
This fantasy with any
eerie events …..


Thank you to A Known Stranger 

Thinking out loud - Reflections

Something to chew on.....
M Scott Peck in his book had commented that he did not think that God is omnipotent because HE endowed us with free will ('developable').
God created the soul. Why would he (or did he) create an evil soul ? "This is not meant to take away the mystery of it all. Indeed, if soul creation, is in fact, an experiment of God's in each and every instance, it then becomes mysterious why there are so very few such obviously failed experiments". Therein lies an even greater mystery, that of human goodness.

So if we are God's experiments, he grows with us. God changes with his people,  moves with the times according to our evolution?  God of the old testament is different from the one in the new.   The Israelites, thousands of years ago, needed a heavy hand as opposed to people of today who respond better to reason because we have evolved, we are more thinking beings than our ancestors

Somehow it makes sense, we are not created perfect and our lives are not perfect either. We each have flaws. We each have free will.

Living and Dying Well - M Scott Peck

Part 2-3 of Denial of the Soul

Dr Peck's theological and religious leaning comes through quite strongly in his advise on how we should approach death. It is as if he too was searching for a way to the ultimate stage of acceptance.
The second half of the book draws a parallel between living and dying and Dr Peck discusses what it means to do both well and in communion with God or one's deepest self (soul) for secularists. There are stages that we go through in any situation of trouble or crisis and it applies to dying too.  (Kubler-Ross stages of learning)
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Dr Peck puts forth that human beings are meant to continue learning and developing, most often we stop learning because we do not get pass the denial stage. The soul he believes, is not created to stagnate 'why would God not only create us but continue to nurture us unless we were developable. Unless God desired our development, our learning?' This he feels is the meaning of life.

Dying gives us the opportunity for learning and soul development. By opting for Euthanasia however we are denying the meaning of human existence and attempting to 'escape the reason for our being', 'it shortchanges ourselves.'  In his experience with dying individuals, the final stage of Acceptance appears to lead one to an ethereal awareness of self,  they seem to emanate 'light that embraces their company', no sadness is experienced.
When we are depressed, the healing of depression requires that there be (existential)l suffering. When we seek out answers to our troubled feelings, we come out on the other side with learning and wisdom on a higher plane. Interestingly he says sometimes the solution could mean there is no solution, we accept that and move on.  Dr Peck describes that to arrive at enlightenment we need to recognise our shortcomings and give up 'things of the ego' - arrogance, excessive competitiveness, need for self-esteem, righteousness etc. We need to identify it and realise we 'can give it up' and do it.  It is about making a choice to continue learning, to develop the inner being and thus we should continue to live until we cannot.

Death of the ego or letting go can be painful. Dr Peck likens these episodes of working at depression to 'little deaths'. One of these characteristics is the 'need to be in control'. Certain forms of Euthanasia or assisted suicides is motivated by this need to control our exit from life.  But Dr Peck maintains that it is not up to us to decide when. In such cases that need (ego), means forgoing cooperation with the Creator and forgoing the ultimate enlightenment of 'emptying ourselves'.  The relief of suffering at the expense of hastening death is acceptable as opposed to shortening life to avoid facing death. Extreme pain and suffering without viable relief is the influencing factor and timing is not of our choosing.
In the final part of the book part 3, Dr Peck discusses different ways to handle terminal illness, their aftercare and suggests methods and counseling for individual medical contexts and also proposes pastoral advisors for meeting the needs of the soul.

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
I believe there is a close parallel in religious writings that many of us can identify with - 'to die in order to live'.

I am finished with the book but not really done with it (if you know what I mean).

Little Confessions

I've been reading the old testament of late, a remark made by a non-Christian prompted me to do this and I haven't stopped.  I am a 'cradle' catholic, I don't recall much of the cathechism that flew past me in the early years and honestly only came to truly appreciate the faith, and God in my later years. I never paid much attention to the other books in the Bible particularly in the old testament. I am embarrassed to admit this but I'm going to, I never knew that Moses never entered the promised land until recently.

Contrary to all the Sunday readings, I encountered a God who is fierce and super-strict; not as I've come to know him but one who is intolerant, demanding, almost unforgiving, reactive - this comes through quite scarily in the books of Exodus, Numbers and Deutoronomy.

Suddenly I think,  I want God of the old testament to rain down fire on the bully in my life but yet I prefer God of the New Testament to be there for me.

Sometimes I wish I could direct my life the way I want it and direct God in this drama too... [no lightning!.]. did I say that I fantasize a fair bit!
That's the drama of my life.. taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back.