Telling My Story

This is my journal

about my unique little life.

It gets quite personal

because it's about my strife.

It is alright, that you know

I am not unlike you,

but I have my own woes,

and my path winds too.

It is my desire to share,

a story that unfolds gradually,

so you know not all life is fair,

and might appreciate greatly

that which you now have,

is truly special from above.

Always, it comes full circle,

seasons of calm then storms unfurl.

A sweet memory, an unforeseen smile

I may bring you for your musing,

melancholy to dissipate not to pile,

then return once more to the beginning.

There are times when I digress

into God or faith and pray,

exploring ways out of unrest,

seeking which is the way.

If you do hear,  lift my heart with a comment

for I am always uncertain.

But only if you can comprehend

then my soul shall be less burdened.

(HA)

Seeking Wisdom which brings Contentment....

The answer seems to be 'carry on with life, it's not my time to do anything yet'.

Seeking a miracle solution from The Book, there is none. They are work-at-it solutions.
There is hope for contentment in this life, without waiting for it in death. It appears that what we constantly seek can be gotten quite easily,  the incentives are wonderful and yet so very difficult in the doing.
Does contentment lead to acceptance or does acceptance lead to contentment?
Does this call for blind faith, to believe I am treading on the right path?  
How do I lay aside my own perception to trust Him 'wholeheartedly'. Do I stop thinking altogether each time I make a choice or decision.?
Not so easy to do - to think of Him in all things we do.

"Trust wholeheartedly in God

put no faith in your own perception;

acknowledge him in every course you take

and he will see that your paths are smooth."

And once we discover wisdom, it will

 ... "all lead to contentment.

... give life to your soul

and beauty to your neck.

You will go on your way in safety,

your feet will not stumble..

... you will not be afraid

.. sleep will be sweet"       
(Prv 3:5-6,17 22-24)..

Being Positive is Not the same as not being Negative

I dislike wet blankets. I try not to be one myself but I suppose I can't avoid being caught in the rain like everyone else........

 
The effect of being positive is not the same as not having negative thoughts.

I have come to a point of awareness where I am able to pull myself back from the brink of bleak moods, to minimise negative thoughts. I essentially 'talk' myself out of it or remind myself 'for the sake of the kids'. 

But putting positive thoughts into motion is more difficult.

Being positive, feels like putting yourself into gear for forward momentum, an anticipation that should lead you to greater engagement.

Preventing or putting off negative thoughts feels more like putting the gears into neutral, holding back but not quite daring to take a different step.

Anyway, being totally composed all the time is impossible, I think we need moments to allow ourself to cry or scream.

I did that on Sunday, it felt good.