A Day in the life ..child vs me vs petulance

I always have to give in!

On Sunday, my youngest was acting up because of his father's advise.
A couple hours later, he was sitting quietly doing a maze puzzle, so I thought I'd broach the topic. I didn't ask him a question, I wanted to talk to him and suggest something but he just refused to hear or let me proceed.

My son took out his grouchiness on me because he could. I thought to myself, I don't deserve this. 'Fine' I said to him, 'you don’t want to talk to me, I won’t talk to you.'

I decided I wanted to be petty.

A couple of hours later I came back from the supermarket, I bought him lozenges for his throat and passed them to him, he asked what flavour and for about 40sec he talked to me about flavours before I remembered ‘hey I’m not supposed to talk to you and you don’t want to talk to me remember?’ He said ‘But I want to talk to you’.
I said ‘No, it can't work that way’ but he insisted laughingly, so ok ... thought I, let’s try the same topic.

So, it appears that at the time, he was still choking on the advise his father gave him and just did not want to hear me. So the lesson.. don’t get to the touchy subject immediately, work around it, assess child’s mood then get to it.

So I always have to give in, sigh.. some days are tougher than others.

Laugh at Yourself

Out of the blue, I thought to myself today that I should teach my children to laugh at themselves. I think that in itself does wonders for character. It would actually help them be more accepting of imperfections, reduce preoccupation with self and negate pride.
I do and it helps.

When we begin to take our failures non-seriously, it means we are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to learn to laugh at ourselves - Katherine Mansfield

Laughter is a holy thing. It is as sacred as music and silence and solemnity, maybe more sacred. Laughter is like a prayer, like a bridge over which creatures tiptoe to meet each other. Laughter is like mercy; it heals. When you can laugh at yourself, you are free -Ted Loder

Is it true the good die young?

My child was sick recently and with the recent H1N1 taking a toll, it worried me and started me along the road of maudlin thoughts and fears.

I knew 3 persons who had died around the age of 50. These persons were good people for various reasons – their attitudes to friends, colleagues and family. Why does God do that, especially when some of them had young children who would miss them terribly.
But when I look closer at each of these individuals, I realize they each had a greater depth to their inner being.

One lived quite selflessly first for his 5 younger siblings, he became a ‘mum’ of sorts when she died early; and then he lived selflessly for his 3 kids, keeping his troubles to himself always making others laugh. He died of a sudden heart failure (without prior illness) but he managed to speak to his wife in the last few minutes before he passed.
Another, was an uncle who prayed fervently, was active in church (like he was searching for something) and yet I knew even though he had a wife and child - was not happy. Yet he too showed us a happy face. The third was a colleague who was a very creative soul but had a little darkness to her character, which she displayed through dressing like Leticia (Adam’s family mother, always wore black lipstick) and was quite insightful in conversations with people around her. And she too was always smiling, joking, no matter how tough the work day was, never a melancholy sort in front of others.
If MJ’s death had not been how we know it now, he too would have fallen into this category, we know he was a persecuted soul yet he too had a different face for the world.

Is it that the heart gives out or the soul that has had enough or that Greater Goodness who decides that they have reached their limit of their human essence ? Someone once said they believed that some souls are temporary, are only on this earth to fulfill a higher purpose – to affect the lives of others.
How does one explain the passing of a young child. Why does God do that to mothers?

Unwind or whine (both also can)

My friend tried to drag me out for drinks after late work yesterday.. I said no.
Then she said to me ' you have to live insanely to live' . ' it's good to let your hair down sometimes ' . What the hell (pardon my Spanish) does that mean.. take off my jacket and do the pole dance on the bar top or what? ..yeah right! get foxed, I think is what she meant.
I knew she was piqued by other things, so I gave in and went for A drink and let loose my ears(but no pole dance).

I understand the need to unwind, I know how to let my hair down (..maybe not all the way.. ..do I sound defensive).
But I think we each have different solutions for that. But my way is not her way. .. it's more like eating a whole tub of ice-cream while watching Brad Pitt in Troy :)

My 'hyper' child Story

My youngest is hyper. Constantly moving, even when he's standing still, he's literally 'dancing' on the spot. Ever so often we wonder how to run down the batteries. They’re way better than Energizers. They’re way too long lasting and don’t seem to need recharging. He falls asleep later than when he gets into bed. What keeps him going, It’s not sugar that’s for sure, he never ever tires.

My theory is that his constant movement keeps him recharged like a dynamo. You know why, because when he’s punished and made to sit still or stand still, he can actually fall asleep there on the spot .. quite amazing ..and that’s because like the dynamo, he’s not able to charge !

He loves cars. At the age of four, he discovered the wonder of a book. The book was the steering wheel of his imaginary car. (I suppose one has to begin somehow!) He would use any book, hold it in his two little hands like a steering wheel and ‘drive’ around the house with appropriate sound effects of course. Apparently he behaved in true form at the kindergarten too . The pre-school teacher complained to me that at reading time he had all the kids following his example. Of course I’d have a chat with him I said, but secretly I thought, that must have been an amusing sight to see... traffic jam in the nursery class.

Anyway 4 years later I’m glad to say, he’s getting into the hang of actually reading books on his own without me having to drive him to it (no pun of course)..

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Inspiration and an answer

Elizabeth Mahlou's blog is inspiring. Her self-discoveries and her actions encourages the 'doing'(i.e. walk the talk).
I had a question in my earlier post 'Is it wrong if I can't forget even though I forgive'.
After reading Elizabeth's post Blest Atheist: Monday Morning Meditation #5

the answer ... it's true forgiveness only if you forget.
*

Work of Your Hands

I never thought myself much of an artist or crafter but I can safely say it is possible and not that difficult to hand make stuff once you find your own niche.
I got into creating crystal bracelets just when I was carrying my third child. I had a super-stressful job and I needed to do something to de-stress. I dislike sewing, I always thought I would never have the patience to complete time-taking tasks like stitching.. sometimes I think I wasn't born to be domestic.


Anyway, I started with crystal craft - I learnt to make a bracelet with crystals (Swarovsky kind- see pix). I recall a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when I completed my first piece. It was my creation. I moved on to other simple jewellery designs but still had a problem with the more complicated ones, but I was happy enough with what I was able to nicely turn out on my own.

I then turned to card making and for a few years now, I have had no need to buy a greeting card or a Christmas card. There is no feeling quite like offering someone a unique creation of your own making.

For those who bake I think you know what I mean.

It is one of the few ways I de-stress, and it is a calming exercise. Breathe, enjoy, and just focus on creating something with your mind and your hands.

http://groups.google.com/group/mothers-always