Seeking

Why do I look out the window
when all I seek is here in my heart;
only now with less sorrow.

I feel lonely today, a little downcast
my heart seeks warmth,
my mind wonders the past.

Seeking friends of old times,
girlhood giggles and smiles,
of music and rhymes.

In the distance, church bells toll,
I return from reverie,
little arms around me, lovingly fold.

With love of a family 
and friends aplenty,
I strive to be happy.

Still, I seek what escapes always,
wisdom that enlightens, fortitude to march 
and peace that touches like the sun's rays.

(HA - 2010)

You Can't always have Everything !

Is it possible to have everything you want and be happy ?
I think life is what we make of it BUT God keeps the balance.

The kids constantly lament about unimportant things like why 'I didn't get' perfect eyesight or perfect teeth, 'why didn't God give me more brains, why do I have to study harder than others, why didn't i get straight hair, why they weren't born rich etc etc etc '.

It is difficult for the kids to comprehend when I say that God is always fair or Life is always fair and  'you can't have everything' .  It's difficult for them to get out of the narrow view where they can only see their personal imperfection without being able to look at the many more good things about themselves by comparison.

It's also tough getting them to pay serious attention to the idea that God knows us and sees all,  there is no hiding from him; and we don't always get what we ask for. The question I put back to them - 'do you deserve it' and 'is it good for you'.

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There are many situations when I forget and think too, that others are luckier than me. But I am constantly reminded that nothing stays perfect' and we are given our moments.

I used to think if you have 1 child and that child is perfect, what more could one ask for. You pour all your resources into one lucky child and it pays off well, isn’t that great ?  BUT then I know that no life is perfect and it is forever changing.  
One of my close friends has a son (1 child only by choice), he went to a good school, went abroad to study, came back found a job. BUT my friend recently complained to me ‘he does not want to settle down, he's always out ‘.   I said 'you can’t always have everything !' and she said 'we can only hope', I had to agree.
Ok so maybe I wanted to say GOD is fair !.

Jer 17: 9
" The heart is more devious than any other thing, and is depraved; who can pierce its secrets?
I, Yahweh, search the heart, test the motives, to give each person what his conduct and his actions deserve"

Sticky about grammar

Grammar stickie...

I am a stickler for grammar. No, I'm not a perfect English major or anything like that, I'm just fussy about speaking right and writing right!. I don't always know all the words but I try. 

Here in Singapore, we have a concoction of local vernacular words/ expressions mixed in with English - to become Singlish... (la, oi, eh ...ah.. makan (eat), kopi (coffee)).

I use it often enough but I am conscious of who and when I use it with, and always in informal, casual situations with familiar people.  After all there are very few habits or characteristics that we as locals can actually call our own, 
We are mostly descendants, some 3-4 generations ago originally from China, India or neighbour, Malaysia. My current generation is proud of who we are here, eventhough they are not really open about it as in waving flags and singing the anthem; but it exists and surfaces when talking points arise over national reps and sportmen. 
While I am proud of the Singlish in a 'nationalistic' sense,  I firmly believe it should not become more than that, an informal attribute and expression among locals.

But speaking properly should be a must have for oneself and for communication to the outside world.

Moving forward, making plans.

The season is almost over, it's been eating and eating and merry making mostly at one house after another. The presents have all been given out except for a couple of delayed meets. Dieting begins tomorrow I hope !!.

The school holidays will be over soon and the kids will be preparing to go back to school. (The kids are groaning, but I am glad!). Kids have so many different distractions today and yet they get bored SO fast. I will be glad to get back to the 'quieter'  'less chaotic' business of living.

I hope that the economy will pick up in 2010, and morale will generally pick up after the rather gloomy old year.
My resolve for 2010 is to pray and listen more on the spiritual front.  Even the three wise men followed the Star, (the light), they didn't try to figure it out through their own wealth of knowledge. There are many lessons in the nativity story.
The family PROBLEM is still present but I believe I have done what I can, shall leave it in God's hands for now until there is a sign.
On the kids front, I intend to work with my middle child and help him moderate his negative characteristics.
On the personal front, well I have already begun with a new course for personal enrichment, that should keep me busy PLENTY.

Looking forward to a better, positive year in 2010.

Hope Renewed

For you my friend,
this prayer of love
and grace I send
so goodness shall serve.


The year is past,
that time is gone,
what light have we cast,
what do we mourn?


A new year brings
fresh breadth and tomorrows. 
For new hopes we sing,
and goodbyes to shadows.


- HA

A joyous New Year to you.

Give a Hug , collect a Hug today

I have been making a deliberate effort to hug my kids more often but it does not come so naturally because I was not brought up on it. Simple for many.
My folks were a traditional sort, 'me parent you child.... don't talk till you are asked something '. In fact. talking was rare then...we were not encouraged to be expressive.

Hugging is something that is relatively new to me that started in church among friends. And since then the practise has spread some but among the rest of society here it is still a rare deed.
But I am of a different generation that 'should know better',  I realise and observe this in other families too, that it is very much a two way thing.  I shall have to try harder, so that the kids will follow suit more comfortably.
I have been advised that this will reduce their tensions and stress inspite of everything that is going on, ... it is the physical contact, a warmth that helps and so I must keep remembering to do so.
You give one and you get one back.

My first Blogging Christmas

This year I enjoy an ADDITIONAL wonderful and different experience for Christmas, because it is my FIRST blogging Christmas. It has been an interesting journey because for the first time I share it with many more beautiful individuals across the globe who are/ have shared their thoughts and expressions for the season.  

It has added to my awareness and made me appreciate more of what this time of the year means from different perspectives for different lives, how they celebrate it, their favourite recipes,  what they think of it, how it depresses some,  how simple and beautiful it can be and how it provokes giving and sharing for many.

This is a BLESSED medium too that enables interaction for lots of lonely people in this world and by reading between the lines you will discover them. Comments do more than you realize in many instances. There is a lot of love and prayers being passed on and that is a marvel and a joy to behold.

May the good Lord bless you for your sharing.
May God spread his peace and grant you all his special blessings this season and in the coming New Year.
May He continue to bless our blogs and guide our minds and hearts as we circulate, meet and reach out to others through our posts. May those who are lonely where ever they are,  find a blessed hand to reach out to touch them.

Love and hugs to all.

A Blessed Christmas and a Joyous New Year to you