Saying it out loud is about facing it.
I've been trying to get my parish priest to come bless my new home and of course he is busy but I am hoping he can soon.
Ever since the divorce was final, every sermon and every 'opinion' about those divorced or about divorce pricks my conscience. I've been thinking I do need to speak to a priest about it but I procrastinate.
Is it guilt or fear? My only thought is that man judges differently from God. While I feel confident that God understands my circumstance I'm not so confident how a priest would. Because I did not initiate it even though I had more cause to, I have always believed this is was God's solution to my many pleas.
Everything I have heard is about - not going there. There's nothing about it when you are there and every time the subject comes up I step into this void - no white or black or grey. I don't know how to describe it, I don't know what I should think there's just no ground under it.
There are articles, some web pages that attempt to address and interpret what the church law implies, but nothing is really clear to me I suppose.
I'm handling it with the family and friends, no issues there.
For me, it's never been a dead end, it always was the beginning for healing and learning to be again.
Be Happy, Be Strong, Live Life. I write for the love of it; helps me think clearer and somehow it also gives me strength. it's been healing, it's been a journey; it's about me, being a mom, persons who mean much to me, memories, discoveries, where life has taken me and where I hope it will head. I am moving forward, I'm happier today (1 May 2012)
Dec 21, 2012
Nov 21, 2012
Fresh views and new beginnings
“She isn't crying, but I figure that's only a matter of time. Scars are just a treasure map for pain you've buried too deep to remember.” Edward's thoughts on Georgie. - Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult.Started reading again...
I've FINALLY moved and the unpacking is almost complete...it's been a week and a half....things are settling.. Most of the furniture is in.
The kids love their rooms, the view of the park is great, quiet neighbours and my collection of potted plants is picking up..
Can't wait to get back to some of my old routines.. (this is one of them).. so tired of looking at furniture !!.
The monsoon season is starting, Christmas is coming on in a hurry...
cheers..
Sep 20, 2012
........stray thoughts
I grew up not feeling loved and so I looked for it..
and still I didn't have it when I thought I had found it.
I am loved, I know that in my head
but the feeling ...
does not extend all the way to my bones,
Do you know what I mean.
I am not alone but
I am still looking for love.
and still I didn't have it when I thought I had found it.
I am loved, I know that in my head
but the feeling ...
does not extend all the way to my bones,
Do you know what I mean.
I am not alone but
I am still looking for love.
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