Aug 18, 2010

A day in the Life - Interact not react, express don't suppress...

My middle child has always been the least expressive and that can be credited to his father.  And yet for these past long stretches of time when the father has been away, I had assumed kid2 had overcome this problem since his quick temper seemed to imply he was not suppressing his angry outbursts.

But I am wrong.  The old conditioning has gone much deeper

The reason for his current bursts of anger is because he is unable to express and communicate what he feels or thinks. He merely reacts with anger to a sibling confrontation, absorbs it without arguing the point of the matter or reasoning it out; walks away. Yes he may throw back an accusation like  'you also do it ' but does not speak up on what is running through his head on the subject nor maintain a stand for himself. And when the other party continues with the badgering of the 'bad action' he merely explodes out of frustration.

Like a balloon, I explain to him, if he is able to argue for himself (by expression) the frustration would not build up and he would be able to let out some of the air and maintain control. Otherwise it finally bursts like his outburst.
To my dismay, what it also means is that he not able to interact on a personal level comfortably with his siblings.

I hope it is not too late to start.

So we learn, from a particular blowup of one Saturday morning, and we will work on that.
I will help him... practise to get words out , 'talk about your thoughts and feelings, you have as much right to voice them'.

3 comments:

  1. I think you're an amazing mom...

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is good. You broke it down to what the problem is. You are good dear one. I do not think it is ever too late...... Blessings.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOVE your thoughts/attitude/perspective! Another great post, BM, What a great and wise mom, you are! Always amazed!
    B xx

    ReplyDelete

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