Mar 29, 2010

Where am I now ... stuck in the Present ?

I think of this constantly, over and over about where I am, what, who am I ?
I have let the past go, I know there is no improving that.

We are moving forward some, but I find I am stuck. I feel that I can't move forward or plan.
Is there a decision to be made by me?  For whom I ask?  Is it for me or my children?
Is it right, when the rules say no,  isn't that to be the guiding principal?  I am bound by my faith.

And yet it means I am stuck in the present, hanging and waiting.
But my kids are happy; they do not have a choice to make.
Is my focus to be only on the children? Is there a me?

Tracy's post struck a chord in me, there is a difference between doing the right thing and the good thing.
If I put my life on hold, it would seem the good thing.
If I make a decision for me, it would not be the right thing. So it seems there is no right thing to do but continue to be stuck in the present until that decision is out of my hands.

But then I think, it is stuck only in one aspect, I can move on in other ways that affect my growth without upsetting the children.
But does my unhappiness affect my kids. I should not let it, should I?
That is where I am now.

6 comments:

  1. Seems like you have built a cocoon around you like me... and it is not unbreakable... One step at a time, slowly when the time is right. Wish you all the best BM

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel like that too. Just now I feel as if I am in a very dark place. I just want this week to pass quickly for reasons that may become clearer in my blogs.

    Things will get better, and, like that old cliché, you never know what tomorrow may bring.
    Chin up, sweetie!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hear you dear one. ((((Being Me))))

    ReplyDelete
  4. A cocoon protects me but what I fear most is that I will be too old when I finally am able to come out of that....
    .... too old to fly....

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am where you are, alone yet not alone. I yearn for loving arms around me, but that can never be.

    I am thankful that there is less abuse.

    Be strong my sister, if it is good, it must be right and God must bless us for it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BM, I 'd love to know/figure out what is the thing that bothers you or better I 'd say what you wish to be/become.
    Because you're just a great woman/mom , I think, as far as I know through your blogs.
    What better than that!
    Betty xx

    ReplyDelete

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