Conflict with another human being can eat away at a person and is truly a total waste of energy..if it can't be overcome outwardly , the solution lies with ourselves. My problem
I have been facing on-going frustration at work with a colleague.
I have this frequent urge to say to this person “I told you so", it just sticks in my craw, again and again and after more than 20 different projects, she still does not get it – that she’s not doing it correctly.
There’s a certain satisfaction in being right . We are vindicated, we can gloat. After all I did do my part to advise and yet she refused to listen. And so I am glad it turned out the way I predicted it would (..evil has been collecting his points).
It's not arrogance or opinion on my part, it's about professional practices. Regardless the end-result speak for themselves - there have been no project wins. More frustrating, she does not learn from previous experience.
It's not arrogance or opinion on my part, it's about professional practices. Regardless the end-result speak for themselves - there have been no project wins. More frustrating, she does not learn from previous experience.
My response of late (tired of sparring with her):
I start to resist working with her, and I think there is no point putting my all into a project with her at the helm. But that would of course compound the end result. I have stopped giving my points of view. What do I do? I’m just an employee. It is wearing me down.
My conscience:
You can't ignore conscience when it knocks. At work it is easy to justify taking the opposite route. I don’t want to gloat or be superior, honestly don't want to 'b...' about it either, it's not about recognition or being idealist. On a personal level this person is alright, little pushy but bearable. But because co-projects are frequent, I begin to distance myself from her personally. How do I get past it ? I don't see a solution, so I have to learn to accept it. Something has to give, it's me. Management does not do their part (I'm not into back-stabbing).
Me now:
It's been 2 years already, and I think I am beginning to - not let it bother me; do my part still and not expect more from this colleague, in other words tampered my expectations in order to avoid further inner conflict.
(a lesson to store)
I start to resist working with her, and I think there is no point putting my all into a project with her at the helm. But that would of course compound the end result. I have stopped giving my points of view. What do I do? I’m just an employee. It is wearing me down.
My conscience:
You can't ignore conscience when it knocks. At work it is easy to justify taking the opposite route. I don’t want to gloat or be superior, honestly don't want to 'b...' about it either, it's not about recognition or being idealist. On a personal level this person is alright, little pushy but bearable. But because co-projects are frequent, I begin to distance myself from her personally. How do I get past it ? I don't see a solution, so I have to learn to accept it. Something has to give, it's me. Management does not do their part (I'm not into back-stabbing).
Me now:
It's been 2 years already, and I think I am beginning to - not let it bother me; do my part still and not expect more from this colleague, in other words tampered my expectations in order to avoid further inner conflict.
(a lesson to store)
Work is a battle zone - you can't always give way or you will end up the looser.. It is tough, there is always conflict if you are in a position of authority, and you have to swallow what you don't want. But the self-exam is quite spot on.
ReplyDeletehmm this is interesting post. I guess the exact problem I am having at work too. But I am not an employee. This is my partner I am talking about and I cannot just lower my expectations, we will run out of business!! Headache!
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