Thoughts while missing in action again ...

I suppose this is going to happen now and then... I haven't had the time to post or blog visit and when I had the urge to do so ... my pc was occupied. That's what happens when you have 3 active gamers at home who love to hog the pc.
...Work has been hectic too... so very little inspiration has been flowing through.

I am behind on my course assignment, but mostly I have been trying to distract myself I think from the impending proceedings.  I am strangely not worried nor aggrieved in any way about the current process or what will soon be.  My main thoughts are on the kids and what it is going to mean for us which is mostly continuing on to the next stage in life. For them, nothing much will really change except a physical change of address and life will continue very much as it has for the past year, though they may not realize it at first

For me I suppose there is nothing to miss that has not already been missing for a long time. I look forward to live life, to laugh more freely and hope to stop grieving over naivete and for what cannot be regained.

.. it's all in the timing

It's like events have been timed to support, strung out to lessen the impact. Stranger things have happened I suppose.

When I was retrenched 5 years ago, it was precious time I needed to keep an eye on my father who had undergone major surgery. For the first time in his life, he needed someone to drive him around and help with the household and my mum. I had 6 months to do that before I managed to find another job. I was glad for it in the end. .. co-incidence?

This time round, I'm about to move out of this house, but not before I am able to do my part for the folks who need a temporary place with space to stay while their place is being renovated... co-incidence?

I have been unintentionally preparing myself as I accompanied them around noting how to get a new home ready, what to look out for, finding out how much furnishings and fixtures actually cost (so I have an idea) so I am more ready in a way to do those very things for myself... co-incidence.

If this had happened 2 years ago, I would not have been ready psychologically in spite of all that has passed.

It all happens ' in his time' as they say.

Time to get Mad...

It's been almost 2 weeks. I am holding it together, better than I expected. I suppose it is about time.

It's time to stop being a fool so I've been advised in very subtle terms. 'Time to make yourself happy' is the advise. I know why it is being said,
Let me get through the process, to get through the process I have to get mad,  worry for the kids first and then I'll see about making myself happy.

I understand.  'Where has compassion, sentiment and non-calculating behaviour gotten' me ? Nothing so it seems.

By taking away all the photos and albums what does he hope to do, think he can lay claim to it all ?

His grandmother (God rest her soul) once said to my mum if I was someone else I would have left him long ago.
She should have said if I was smarter I would have left him long ago.

I know I won't be the first nor the last.. sigh.. why are women(the unlucky ones) such saps !!