Jul 19, 2011
Putting out fires
The ex now appears to be drawing the kids' teachers into his battle plan. But not all of them, he picks the weaker child or the weaker subject and uses that to his advantage. He had gone to see a none-too favourite teacher of my youngest boy and since then, my son had been behaving antsy, in fits and starts I would hear strange statements made by this teacher through my son. And my first thought was 'no way, the ex is not going to use a teacher to continue his bullying for him, and if this teacher is dumb enough to be influenced on heresay, then he deserves to be reported'. Then I thought about it and decided I would not jump the gun, I would go corner him and find out exactly his view of the situation, to see how his inclinations swayed.
I hate confrontations, eventhough this was not quite that, but it had to be done for my son's sake. After all, teachers have been instructed specifically to stay clear of family issues and ensure the child's well-being.
I gave him a surface 'lay of the land' and expressed my concerns as to the changes (negative) in my son's behaviour, considering that all seemed to be as well as could be in the past (same teacher for this subject) until recently (when my ex began to involve himself in the children's school and their study). The teacher went on about his methods and his wishes for the students and so on. I told him that was all good and fine until he used the word discipline. 'Discipline' is my ex's favourite excuse for his past abuse of the children. And when that word came up, I looked him in the eyes and said that sure it is important, but a child must also want to do it (persuaded to do so for the right reasons).
I did not wish to give him the full background just enough for him to understand, that the child dwells currently in a hostile environment, that he(teacher) needed to watch where he tread, as there was a lot more than just a divorce affecting the child and I did not want my son retreating backwards dreading old experiences (before the protection order was applied).
The teacher must have gotten the idea, as he hastily seemed to assure me that he would certainly not touch on family situations but ensure the child's well-being where school matters are concerned, taking into account my concerns.
Life (81) Kids (49) Me (44) Living (42) poem (39) Faith (37) Human Nature (35) Stress (31) motherhood (29) Bloggers (18) Encouragement (18) divorce (18) Books (17) Love (17) hope (17) Experience (15) Journal1 (12) anger (12) courage (12) prayer (12) wisdom (12) abuse (11) healing (10) Friends (9) Musing (9) smile (9) Rant (8) family (8) moving forward (8) Miracles (7) fear (7) senses (7) Xmas (6) Music (5) award (5) death (5) learning (5) Balance (4) God's plan (4) Home (4) M S Peck (4) New Year (4) expression (4) narcissist (4) Fate (3) Health (3) memories (3) parenting (3) peace (3) whiny ex (3) Catholic (2) Interests (2) Language (2) Vacation (2) conflict (2) house hunting (2) law (2) melancholy (2) packing (2) perfection (2) stormy relationships (2) teenagers (2) time (2) women (2) workplace (2) C S Lewis (1) Charity (1) Christmas (1) Courtesy (1) Dengue (1) Dog (1) Eric Fromm (1) Father (1) Haze (1) Hello Kitty (1) Inspiration (1) Joke (1) Joy (1) Life lessons (1) Mail (1) McDonald's (1) Mother Nature (1) Mother's Day (1) Procrastination (1) Robert Frost (1) Screwtape Letters (1) TV show (1) Timing (1) WWWeb (1) Will (1) assertiveness (1) balcony (1) blog (1) carnival (1) choice (1) contentment (1) coping with stress (1) crystals (1) daughter (1) diary (1) evil (1) family law (1) finance (1) forgiveness (1) furniture (1) garden (1) growing pains (1) hand-me-downs; jumble sale (1) hobby (1) hormones (1) interior design (1) justice (1) likeable (1) matrimonial property (1) mean (1) nature or nuture (1) paranoia (1) personal expression (1) personal journey (1) pet dog (1) plants (1) pride (1) protection (1) queue (1) recycle (1) responsibility (1) retreat (1) rights (1) rings (1) seeking happiness (1) self pity (1) sentimental value (1) sincere (1) staying calm (1) survival (1) wedding symbols (1)