As I sat in church today, and it being Pentecost I thought what is stopping the spirit from entering, from taking over and therefore setting me free.
I believe, I mouth the words in prayer, I ask for it, I want to leave it all in HIS hands and yet I suppose my 'windows' are not open to receive anything, that is my heart and the right parts of my mind. What is the baggage cluttering up the way?
Why do I not let it all go and leave it to HIM. 'We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love him. -Rom 8-28 '
It is worry about the kids and their feelings, more than anything else.
When I am not thinking about the kids, but that I can finally move forward, these are the moments of lightness, a minute of peace-like feeling, a weightlessness.
Yet I cannot hold on to it longer.
Because I cannot stop worrying about the kids.
What does it mean?
That I do not have sufficient faith in God to look after the kids. Does this mean I attribute my X with more power?
That is ridiculous!
Time to clear the cobwebs in my brain and clear the clutter.
I have to let the system work but I must trust HIM still, in this.
Thinking too much into this will just make you go a little crazy. It affects us mentally and physically as well. It is easier said then done, I know.. leave it to God he will make it all right.
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