God is great, he's wonderful

Did I not know he was there before?
That's because I was looking but did not see.
It's been 4 years or so now, life has happened
and I am grateful.
I have a job still in this terribly terribly unstable
and roller coaster economy,
the love of family who stand by me
and friends who share their ears and hearts with me.

He asks little from  us, but gives us so much
yet half the time we think and feel
it's not nearly enough, and we're never contented.

Weather 's hot but not that crazy.
The plants are still green and flowering.
The children will still moan and groan,
and I will still nag and push
but that's life.
I like quiet but I also miss the noise.

Is that how we're made, to live with noise and silence;  to have one and sometimes we must have the other. Extremes and boredom keep us afloat and living.

In spite of everything that has happened , I know I am blessed.
It doesn't matter how anyone else judges.
I don't aim for perfect, just better than OK.

God will still love us inspite of our chaos and continue to be our guide even if I don't see the driver.

Thinking about Forgiving, not the Forgetting

"Evil can be undone, but it cannot develop into good. Time does not heal it." C S Lewis
In Lewis interpretation, you have to go back to the beginning and do it all over again to see the error of your ways.

One of the things to do to be at peace is to forgive.
Could my ex have been saved, converted, changed ?

I kept thinking about that and then recently I heard a homily about how we should pray. In summary, the implication was leave it in God's hands, ask for help for a person or with a situation when you pray BUT don't direct God.

And so I thought of my situation, I didn't direct God, I asked for help to solve the unrest and distress.
And the answer as it had unfolded gives me my answer to my question.
If it could be done, it would have come to pass and so the answer I believe is no.

God intervenes when we need him and when it's beyond our control but not when we can do it our self, be it easy or hard. We need to know when to give up and when to persevere.

-Reviewing
My children are older, not necessarily wiser. Now I worry if one of my sons is turning into a replica of is father. ..a question of nature of nurture.  Awareness is not enough.
Praying and trusting in God is all have. I don't intend to live that way again.
May God have mercy.

You can't miss it if you didn't have it to begin with.

When I was growing up, hand-me-downs were common. And I don't mean from an older sister or cousin. I mean literally second hand clothes that used to be collected at a church. My mum was friends with a lady who worked there, and she would go there now and again to pick out stuff for us. We were open to jumble sales too.  Mostly it was for me since my sister got my hand me downs.

I would go along most of the time, but I didn't really think twice about it nor was I embarrassed or even had a thought that anyone might recognize the clothes. To me, it was great to have a variety of stuff to choose from as they were mostly from rich people.

For few years until I was out of School, you could say the family was on a budget, which my mum managed well. I didn't really understand the concept of going without or having less because it never really occurred to me, or perhaps I had nothing to compare to. My brother and I were the less privileged compared to my younger sister who grew up in less tighter times.

Unlike today, we had not much of a choice in what we wore. Like or hate it, but keep your head high among the rest of the kids you interacted with.   There was not much choice.

Perhaps that's why I'm not fussy or into 'branded' stuff cos I can't see any value there. I'm not affected by all that designer fluff.

If I was to introduce this idea to my daughter I think she would frown on it and shy away. I threw away clothes cos they were worn out, she disposes of clothes that have seen little wear because they were out of fashion and sitting in the wardrobe. Is it little wonder she appreciates little.

My boys have a mixed attitude strangely for the better, or is it because they're boys. Perhaps I've spoilt the girl being the oldest and most privileged in that sense. The boys grew up with less.

Is there anything wrong with the idea of recycling, especially if the quality is still good.

Pride keeps most people away from the clothes in the thrift shop(except the domestic workers) at the church but it doesn't stop them from admiring some of those really pretty clothes.