Love, it's still simple, it's the will part that's hard...

I wrote this way back and it still is valid but it gets easier with age...........

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."  Song Of Solomon 8:7.
But man can. Call me cynical,
I don't think that Love is instinctive; it's not some sentiment embedded deep in one's nature that it persists despite all else. It is a product of our upbringing and our social environment.  It is a choice made that gets buried so deep and therefore it implies it can be 'un-done',  (like water erodes the soil to expose the roots) dug away gradually until it appears near the surface and then our mind [and all it remembers] decides to love or not to love. We nurture it again or not  with reasons for that choice.
Love implies absolute acceptance - simple yet difficult, is it do-able ?

These statements from my earlier post The Choice to Make, ring true  - by M S Peck who said “The desire to love is not itself love….Love is an act of will …. Namely an intention and action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. No matter how much we may think we are loving, if we are in fact not loving, it is because we have chosen not to love and therefore not love despite our good intentions. On the other hand, whenever we do actually exert ourselves in the cause of spiritual growth, it is because we have chosen to do so. The choice to love has been made.”

If we choose it all the time and make it so, then there will be more ...as is implied by Mother Theresa who said  "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."   On the other hand this seems simple.

(Nov/2009)

People can read you if you are not sincere.

Things are settling or should I say the dust is settling.

I'm moving on with life. There are new phases and stages with the kids now as they get on with ADOLESCENCE.

When DOES  that end  ...? really  ?!

Each definitely have their father's genes.
They have tempers that flare on the quick and sometimes I am reminded of the stressful times while I was staying with my narcissistic X.

Each is different in the degree of it and how they manage it or cope with it.  I can only advice and as they grow older hope they be more mindful of it.
I wouldn't want them to turn out to be like the X.  He's a real example of how life will  turn out - unless you like being alone. No family to stick by you,  no true or long term friends who can bide you.

People can read(sense) you when you are not sincere, they will not tell you, just walk away. You may think you are likable and yet.

I've grown calmer in the face of heat.

Christmas ... a time to start anew

It's a time to start over. I have been thinking a lot about it.

Old habits die hard, just like old fears are difficult to dissipate.

I can't consider the worries of the kids any more, they are older and they seem to make their own decisions and comments about how they perceive their father and me, the things being said (insinuations), It will be his game and I need to stop playing it and stop  ''çaring ' on a certain level or I shall never move on.

I have always used a method to get through the stressful periods of life where I had no control and that is to assume an extreme (negative) scenario and accept that and my solution to it.

Have faith always.

It's not as bad as it sounds, I'm just dealing.

Merry Christmas all.