People can read you if you are not sincere.

Things are settling or should I say the dust is settling.

I'm moving on with life. There are new phases and stages with the kids now as they get on with ADOLESCENCE.

When DOES  that end  ...? really  ?!

Each definitely have their father's genes.
They have tempers that flare on the quick and sometimes I am reminded of the stressful times while I was staying with my narcissistic X.

Each is different in the degree of it and how they manage it or cope with it.  I can only advice and as they grow older hope they be more mindful of it.
I wouldn't want them to turn out to be like the X.  He's a real example of how life will  turn out - unless you like being alone. No family to stick by you,  no true or long term friends who can bide you.

People can read(sense) you when you are not sincere, they will not tell you, just walk away. You may think you are likable and yet.

I've grown calmer in the face of heat.

Christmas ... a time to start anew

It's a time to start over. I have been thinking a lot about it.

Old habits die hard, just like old fears are difficult to dissipate.

I can't consider the worries of the kids any more, they are older and they seem to make their own decisions and comments about how they perceive their father and me, the things being said (insinuations), It will be his game and I need to stop playing it and stop  ''çaring ' on a certain level or I shall never move on.

I have always used a method to get through the stressful periods of life where I had no control and that is to assume an extreme (negative) scenario and accept that and my solution to it.

Have faith always.

It's not as bad as it sounds, I'm just dealing.

Merry Christmas all.

Tumultuous

These few weeks have been rather tumultuous. That's a good word to describe what's been going on in the family, among ourselves.

It seems my ex, the kids' father is somehow still standing in our midst and creating TROUBLE.

On the alternate weekends when they are with him, I get that he has not moved on and still curses me and complains and so on. The comments I hear from the kids when they are home with me tell me as much.

I'm trying to leave it (him, pain) behind and not talk about it nor do I wish to dredge up bad memories to remind the kids. But then I think, are they forgetting everything they've been through. Isn't that good ?

Let it be, let him do his best to prejudice the kids against me, let him weave his stories. I am tired of this.