Trying my patience
My middle child's mission in life is to test my patience. I took him to get a couple of pieces of clothing which he would need for his school farewell functions. It was the weekend, I asked him to check if he had the relevant colour shirt or pants for his themed 'black and white' night. He said no, then he tells me, he also needed some khaki or beige bermudas for a morning skid too.. 'ok lets go look for them now', he didn't hesitate. Usually he is not able to decide on the spot and needs to ponder on the slightest things. I suggested that he could also wear a black top with his black jeans but NO, to him 'black and white' means just that; no white and white or black and black. No point trying to explain, he just couldn't accept it. He didn't want to 'be embarrassed'. OK I let it go, This is one of his characteristics, when something appears defined in no uncertain terms by the school, that's the way it is, it's hard to go into a grey area. I hope this aspect will improve with maturity.
We went to one of the major shoppings malls which also had a major department store. 'Almost formal' white shirts are not that common, especially for boys. So we left the department store and went into 'Kiddie Palace' which sells almost anything for kids 0 - 15 yrs old. He was not happy, he didn't want to go in. I had to drag him into the store. I had to drag him to look at the colours and then drag him to the changing room to try out the size for the bermudas. He didn't want to carry the clothes. He refused to try on the shirt, I placed it against his back to be sure it was not oversized, and let him go on that. But I was adamant he try on the bermudas. He created such a fuss, like I was doing this for my own benefit. Through the changing room door. he kept sighing and grumbling, he didn't want it. At this point you can imagine, I had steam coming out of my ears as I maintained control of my temper. The colour was right, so what was wrong, he refused to say. I had to drag answers out of him on the fit through the door. I must have sounded like a mad woman to some of the shoppers, harassing my son. In the end we left the shop with the desired items for his events.
As we left the mall, and he was calmer, I asked him what was wrong with him. I reminded him that he's now assured he won't have to fret on the eve (like many a school occasion), he needed those items for his own comfort - to fit in, to conform - fine I could understand that.
The problem APPARENTLY was the name 'kiddie'. He's 12, in his mind he is not a 'kiddie', so he associated the clothing likewise; he felt he would be embarrassed by being seen in 'childish' clothes. There was really nothing childish about them, OMG I thought! I explained to him that those clothing labels (brands) could also be found in the bigger department stores or any other non-'kiddie' labelled shop. And also that the store name was just that - a name because they sold items for kids upto 15 yrs at least. Mercifully, he understood and accepted (sigh). The alternative would have been to spend double on a Levi's bermudas just to ensure his comfort. That would have been acceptable because Levi's is not perceived as 'kiddie'.
Intricacies of a 12 year old (male) mind:
A little later on the way home, I said to him, 'you are 12, technically you ARE a kid'. He said he didn't want to be 12. How old did he want to be.. he said 18. Boy oh boy and WHY IS that, he wants 'to drive a car'!! I left it at that, 'you'll get there sooner than you realise' my daily quota for reason had reached a limit.
When he gets to 18, I think I'll remind him of this story. I'm sure by then, he'll wish he was 12.
Well I still have a another boy to go through this age crisis, I'm sure I'll be still AMAZED again and again.
Be Happy, Be Strong, Live Life. I write for the love of it; helps me think clearer and somehow it also gives me strength. it's been healing, it's been a journey; it's about me, being a mom, persons who mean much to me, memories, discoveries, where life has taken me and where I hope it will head. I am moving forward, I'm happier today (1 May 2012)
Nov 16, 2009
Nov 14, 2009
Are you up to the challenge?
If everyone does a little it adds up, it's a simple thought really that starts it rolling. It is always hard to commit time and effort (kids, work kids, work etc), so in some unspoken way, this was directed at me, the challenge this season is just that.
It came knocking on our door. A few of us in the office decided we would volunteer our time and cars with a group akin to the Salvation Army - to do collection of food, gifts and other items from people who call up to give (which peaks particularly at this time of year). From each of us it is a small effort, together it frees up a fair bit of their resources. You feel good, the next person hears about it, and he wants to do his part too.
Guess what the boss is doing his part too. He's letting us drive his car and better still, it's infectious, the group has grown!
(Go ahead, take a copy of the badge above and spread your challenge story).
Nov 12, 2009
If I Imagine
If I imagine a world
it will be a world undivided by oceans
and no boundaries.
If I imagine a garden
it will be wider than my eye could see,
laden with fruit trees,
flowers of every colour and bird sanctuaries.
If I imagine a leader
like Solomon, he would be all knowing,
born of wisdom to astound
so Peace will abound.
If I imagine a sound
it will be sweet melodies of vocals,
the gentle voices of angels.
in harmony with a tantalizing breeze,
that surfs the ocean to tease.
If I imagine death
it will be slumber of a mother’s peace
Slowly I will float from the earth
tenderly carried on waves with ease.
No weight, no shame, nor guilt of grief.
it will be a world undivided by oceans
and no boundaries.
If I imagine a garden
it will be wider than my eye could see,
laden with fruit trees,
flowers of every colour and bird sanctuaries.
If I imagine a leader
like Solomon, he would be all knowing,
born of wisdom to astound
so Peace will abound.
If I imagine a sound
it will be sweet melodies of vocals,
the gentle voices of angels.
in harmony with a tantalizing breeze,
that surfs the ocean to tease.
If I imagine death
it will be slumber of a mother’s peace
Slowly I will float from the earth
tenderly carried on waves with ease.
No weight, no shame, nor guilt of grief.
(HA - Oct 2009)
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