Work of Your Hands

I never thought myself much of an artist or crafter but I can safely say it is possible and not that difficult to hand make stuff once you find your own niche.
I got into creating crystal bracelets just when I was carrying my third child. I had a super-stressful job and I needed to do something to de-stress. I dislike sewing, I always thought I would never have the patience to complete time-taking tasks like stitching.. sometimes I think I wasn't born to be domestic.


Anyway, I started with crystal craft - I learnt to make a bracelet with crystals (Swarovsky kind- see pix). I recall a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when I completed my first piece. It was my creation. I moved on to other simple jewellery designs but still had a problem with the more complicated ones, but I was happy enough with what I was able to nicely turn out on my own.

I then turned to card making and for a few years now, I have had no need to buy a greeting card or a Christmas card. There is no feeling quite like offering someone a unique creation of your own making.

For those who bake I think you know what I mean.

It is one of the few ways I de-stress, and it is a calming exercise. Breathe, enjoy, and just focus on creating something with your mind and your hands.

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Forgive & Forget; a child's right to anger?

Good age-old wisdom says - Forgive and Forget. The consequence is release, relief and peace.

Is it wrong if I can't forget even though I forgive.
Is it wrong if I can't forgive but forget mostly and just once in a while I remember.
Sometimes we preach what we ourselves find hard to practise. We're not saints, takes a while but we probably are able to in the long run - forgive but not really forget.

Children do not have this concept of forgive and forget. They just forget mostly and the wrong-doer rarely remembers the wrong to bother his conscience. And if they do suffer from anothers' actions, it's not about forgiving but just moving on whether they get an apology or not. Their experiences with wrong and right are (supposedly mostly) simpler.

While this piece of wisdom is meant to help unload baggage, we (adults) use it in another way too, though we may not realise it. To us, this right to withhold forgiveness is like our special power; it somehow gives us a vindictive hold over the person who has hurt us (it'll be on his conscience); it acts as a sort of coping mechanism for our anger in the short run (it helps us control the need to lash out). We rationalise it. In the long run it becomes baggage.

But what of a child - who is not capable of this rationale nor grasp the concepts of forgiveness or conscience or guilt, what does he do when he is so troubled by someone and not able to forget or move on? Either lash out at the one who hurt them or at the ones around them.
It's quite difficult to explain to them about forgiveness - seems incomprehensible, illogical. So how do we help them cope? Adults can handle some baggage, but I don't think a child should have any. If they cannot confront the wrong-doer, the only solution seems to be let them lash out and then address the actions or comments as they unfold.

My earlier post Emotions on the subject was about similar questions, I think the question buzzing in my head is, how to teach a child not to hate (even if he's justified).

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