Mixed moods

This feels like me... mixed up moods.. ..

feeling better, calmer today...

Make a list - time to unclog the pipes...

My melancholy moments are stored mostly here in my blog,
I try not to carry it with me for others to see...
or be dragged down with.
In the home, mostly there is no time for it,
the kids have their many temperamental moments.

Lately, for a while now, things have piled up I suppose, that's why.  It's more like a heavy fog than a depression that weighs down on my memory, there are things that need to be done and things that need to be corrected yet cannot be controlled.

Let's try making a list, perhaps it 'll become clearer to know what I can change and what I can't,  perhaps some things can get moving and out of the way. 

Auto mode ...

Took a break, went camping with the kids but it wasn't as relaxing as I thought it would be.  It was good exercise, my bones were aching from the aftermath but...

After some time life becomes routine again.

I want change. I keep thinking of change, a more lasting memory, a more fulfilling experience ?.

To do things slowly, more deliberately,  to think more of the doing than the getting done.

My head is full of things to do, the list never ends.

I go through each day almost robotically.

Nagging the kids seems automatic, even if it's for different antics.

Going through the motions, eating, showering, cleaning, fixing ...

I want to slow it down, change the pace,

to feel more in the here and now.

It's probably just a phase ...my last post on this was in 9/2009 routines-living-in-auto-mode.