My ex is gone, what does that make me in the eyes of the church

Ever since the divorce I have had this unclear place in the church.
I felt like I was one part outcast and one part catholic.
When I first mentioned it, I said we are permanently separated since there is no such thing as divorce  in the church. I don't think I was wrong, yet this priest I said it too did not take it any further.

Whether or not, I initiated it made no difference.

The faith I have with Christ and God is strong and prevails, I suppose I placed too much on what a priest says or what they did not say.

It seems now it is clear. 'Til death do us part' and so I am officially a 'widow' then. In secular life I am not. But faith does not allow me to separate the two.

I can feel no grief just a deep sadness for my children and my past that led them to be.  God have mercy on his soul.

In a way I am freed in more ways than one.
I realized that I lived in state of fear (at the back of my mind) that there would be 'going back to court'for some thing or other even after years .because of what he used to do.... and so I just kept everything in the form of paperwork and new paperwork to keep as support cos I might need it some day.
Ridiculous right.

I started to throw out a lot of the old papers and it was freeing and lightening.