May 12, 2014

You can't miss it if you didn't have it to begin with.

When I was growing up, hand-me-downs were common. And I don't mean from an older sister or cousin. I mean literally second hand clothes that used to be collected at a church. My mum was friends with a lady who worked there, and she would go there now and again to pick out stuff for us. We were open to jumble sales too.  Mostly it was for me since my sister got my hand me downs.

I would go along most of the time, but I didn't really think twice about it nor was I embarrassed or even had a thought that anyone might recognize the clothes. To me, it was great to have a variety of stuff to choose from as they were mostly from rich people.

For few years until I was out of School, you could say the family was on a budget, which my mum managed well. I didn't really understand the concept of going without or having less because it never really occurred to me, or perhaps I had nothing to compare to. My brother and I were the less privileged compared to my younger sister who grew up in less tighter times.

Unlike today, we had not much of a choice in what we wore. Like or hate it, but keep your head high among the rest of the kids you interacted with.   There was not much choice.

Perhaps that's why I'm not fussy or into 'branded' stuff cos I can't see any value there. I'm not affected by all that designer fluff.

If I was to introduce this idea to my daughter I think she would frown on it and shy away. I threw away clothes cos they were worn out, she disposes of clothes that have seen little wear because they were out of fashion and sitting in the wardrobe. Is it little wonder she appreciates little.

My boys have a mixed attitude strangely for the better, or is it because they're boys. Perhaps I've spoilt the girl being the oldest and most privileged in that sense. The boys grew up with less.

Is there anything wrong with the idea of recycling, especially if the quality is still good.

Pride keeps most people away from the clothes in the thrift shop(except the domestic workers) at the church but it doesn't stop them from admiring some of those really pretty clothes.

May 8, 2014

Love, it's still simple, it's the will part that's hard...

I wrote this way back and it still is valid but it gets easier with age...........

"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."  Song Of Solomon 8:7.
But man can. Call me cynical,
I don't think that Love is instinctive; it's not some sentiment embedded deep in one's nature that it persists despite all else. It is a product of our upbringing and our social environment.  It is a choice made that gets buried so deep and therefore it implies it can be 'un-done',  (like water erodes the soil to expose the roots) dug away gradually until it appears near the surface and then our mind [and all it remembers] decides to love or not to love. We nurture it again or not  with reasons for that choice.
Love implies absolute acceptance - simple yet difficult, is it do-able ?

These statements from my earlier post The Choice to Make, ring true  - by M S Peck who said “The desire to love is not itself love….Love is an act of will …. Namely an intention and action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. No matter how much we may think we are loving, if we are in fact not loving, it is because we have chosen not to love and therefore not love despite our good intentions. On the other hand, whenever we do actually exert ourselves in the cause of spiritual growth, it is because we have chosen to do so. The choice to love has been made.”

If we choose it all the time and make it so, then there will be more ...as is implied by Mother Theresa who said  "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."   On the other hand this seems simple.

(Nov/2009)

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