The last quarter always sees more family occasions. I realize recently that my attitude to attending events that bring me in closer contact
with relatives has changed and for the better – I'm less apprehensive and less calculating in my
thoughts of what might be asked and how I might respond where my ex is concerned.
They must have noticed his absence from social functions for many years now. Not strange then, they have stopped asking me about it or him.
They must have noticed his absence from social functions for many years now. Not strange then, they have stopped asking me about it or him.
I feel more open in my thoughts, there is less or hardly
that sense of being imperfect or defensiveness that I used to ‘arm ‘ myself with
when going to these family affairs.
I suppose it would be called coming to terms with what has
always been and what it will be and what it actually is today.I want to be the person in charge of me again.
Who am I or was I trying to satisfy, why pretend?
Society is not perfect and as I sat in the living room of my brother's in-laws and the families a couple of weeks ago, I thought, everyone has issues, I don't judge them, why should they judge me.
Why do we love ourselves less and not see our weakness as our humanness that is forgivable by God and yet not by ourselves? Do we set higher standards for being who we should be?
I hear you....I can relate to judging myself harder than others do. it's been a real struggle to realize that making a mistake....doesn't mean I'm a mistake.....Hope you have a great weekend......
ReplyDeleteAt times we do expect us to be superhumans when we are actually made to be only humans... Learning to forgive oneself is one of the toughest thing we learn in our lives.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, as I receive and give more of God's grace and forgiveness, I find it easier to not be so hard on myself. To, as you speak of here, just be who I am, no more or less. I certainly know that I enjoy those people in my life who let me be exactly who I am, and I hope to give that gift to others.
ReplyDeleteTotally relate. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteA belated comment as I catch up on blogs after Thanksgiving. Your post reminded me of the prayer the minister gave at our church Thanksgiving potluck. It was pretty funny really, about how glad we were to be there together without dysfunctional or challenging family settings! I love my family and my larger, extended family, but there are some challenges, to be sure.
ReplyDelete