Jul 30, 2011

Conflicting thoughts and making right choices.

Whenever we make a decision, whatever the circumstances, whatever the reasons, it's still our choice, right or wrong, we own it, we take responsibility for it. This is one of the classic steps to ease stress.

It struck me that at some point I would have to let the children make their choices and learn from it.

I can't continue to protect them on every front because I am not there. Hence my conflict, I have to rationalize.

I've been thinking alot lately that I am still allowing him(X) to yank my chain, through the children. I have been attempting to run interference but I'm advised, there's very little I can do at this point eventhough it could be what is right for them. The kids know that alot of things do not  feel right and yet, are they hoping to please both sides?  Is it fear or love that prods them, it's hard to decipher.
To me, I think they might not be the best judge, but I'm advised they are old enough even for 10 to know the difference.
The children must make their stand and learn to face their fears too. I do not want to cause more tensions and more confusion for the kids.  And the children ultimately need to realise what it is they want and what makes them happy, not what they think should or ought to be right thing to do.

The harsh truth is,  consequences may be the best teacher.

And I cannot please everyone either, I have do what I need to do too.

There is no right or wrong, just a difficult road.

6 comments:

  1. I agree so much with this...The best teacher is life itself and making our own mistakes....that works for our kids too. Although I hate seeing them hurt...I know I have to let them fall sometimes. So hard to do

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  2. Gosh I agree about children,...yet I struggle with this frequently. Like most mothers, I want so much good for my kids.

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  3. Dear Sarah and Tracy, I'm glad to read your words this morning. Again, my Ex is testing my courage and my temper.
    It seems, the time is now, that the boys will have to find their courage. It's so difficult I'm reminding myself trust in the Lord too.

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  4. It's a very tough row to hoe. I struggle, even now that mine are adults, with releasing and letting go. It's often painful to watch natural consequences at work even when know it must be. Your heart is so open and your intentions are so clear...you can't help but follow your Guidance for good. "Trust". That's what's on frig.

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  5. That is a tough place for any mom to be in.. You have your limits and everyone best learns from their experience. Sometimes the kids learn a lot better on their own then from us.

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  6. There is certainly a lesson to be learned.

    ReplyDelete

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