Stereotyping

Not too long ago, Jeff  discussed an incident on racism in his blog. Another subject not too far from this yet often overlooked and glossed over is stereotyping. I need to rant a bit, we're approaching festivals - we just passed one for the Muslims and are approaching another for the Hindus and sweeping remarks made by the ignorant and careless, just get on my nerves now and again .

I live in a society that is made up of many different races, each one quite diverse yet we're quite integrated - Indians, Malays, Chinese, sub-divide that with religion. While this nation's 'civilization' has come a long, long way, and in this age of internet and TV,  there are still pre-conceived notions running in the heads of the so called 'better' educated locals of their long-residing counterparts.

Here are some typical remarks:
- she is very fair for an Indian
- she looks like Chinese but she's actually Malay
- he's Indian but he's Catholic
- she's Chinese but she married an Indian
- he's Indian but his wife is Chinese
- her hair is so straight for an Indian
- she's quite dark for a Chinese
- she's Indian but she knows how to eat Chinese food.
- he's quite good looking for an Indian
- he's Muslim but he is not fasting
- she has an English name but she is Indian
- she's Chinese but she's got nice eye lashes...
.. it goes on..
Mild but it grates. Can you hear it,  the condescension, ignorance, underlying prejudice, presumption and imposition...the word 'but' is like that chalk piece screeching against the blackboard.
Why can't people make observations without suppositions?

The ignorance is amazing, the incapacity to learn anything (or absorbing anything) about your neighbour for 30 years of living next to them, the ease of assuming is baffling.
More often than not my sarcastic response is wasted on these persons, and when you point out the error in their thinking, they justify themselves based on   'most of the time', 'usually like ', 'they always' ...  when really they don't know.
These are not about norms of yesteryears, it's about being aware, being more exposed and asking questions.  Is it shocking that narrow mindedness still exists ?

Trekking through a New Frontier

It is now officially 3 months old, this blog of mine.

When I started blogging it was more as my personal journal. I always have more questions than answers. Since I joined the blogging community I have been amazed and continue to be amazed as I go blog trekking. I am discovering a world of interesting people all over the globe on all kinds of interesting subjects. Mostly, that I am not alone on some of the issues I face, and your words help in many ways. We do make connections.

I blog and I follow,  I comment where I need to say something or I don't (so much to read). I have varied interests and am pulled into most subjects especially on the self (journals), on human nature, mothers and kids however it is expressed, be it in pictures, words, music or poetry. The work of so many minds is truly amazing. When I get to new sites, I explore not just the blog but the followers too (such a busybody!).

I've come across different blogger writer types
1) the ones who write for pure revenue interest
2) the ones who write very personal stories
3) the ones who write for the love Of God
4) the ones who write because life is full of interesting questions and experiences to share(good and bad)

Wow and some of you have multiple blogs too, I envy that energy.

5) the ones who write on business subjects

and then you have different follower types(not necessarily signed up)

6) write and read other blogs

7) don't write but read blogs

8) Loyal

9) Hoppers

The lone ranger:

10) write but don't read any other blogs

The blog world makes for wonderful human interest exploration and we certainly can learn from each other and learn new things along the way. Thank you for the kind awards that some of you have shared. Many of the blogs are beautifully designed and decorated, but more importantly is what they have to say. (I'll have to fiddle with mine soon).

This award is for all you wonderful people who have joined me along the way at some point or other,  with your thoughts and comments and to all who follow:  Gaia, Arise to Write, Farila,
Mom of Three, Always a Mom, Charmaine, Janice, Julieanne, Echoes , Political Blog,  Kathleen, Blushing Rose, Creative Liquid, TheConformalBlog, Blest Atheist, Magdalena,  Moon Loh, AphroditeOrania, Tammy, SheGurl, Spiller, Aperdue7..
(if I 've  left anyone out my sincere apologies).
And thank you.

A Day in the Life... Words

There's a rhyme that goes "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me"..  who came up with this, it's absolutely not true.

Last night I got so mad with my older son, that I almost said something terribly harsh. I don’t think he realized his words hurt me and I don’t think he even remembered it after. I was fuming mad with him and that made me literally bark at the other two kids who did nothing wrong. I stopped myself; I refused to talk to him further and asked the other two kids not to talk to me because I was upset with their brother.

He is doing the PSLE this year and that has put him under pressure for the past few months now. It is something that has been building for both him and me too. Inspite of advice, much of the stress is self-inflicted, he is a worrier by nature. He is quite unstable in his emotions where his abilities and confidence are concerned and they fluctuate so wildly, it tires me out.

An hour after the episode, I went into his room to see him and he looked at me like nothing happened, like he didn’t have that self-righteous episode.
I let him be, I decided I was not going to pursue the matter then or today and try to make him recognize the wrong. Why, because it might dig a deeper hole in me and I don’t think he will come to the realization? It will bother me some but I’ll just blame immaturity(he's 12) or stress and give him space. Motherhood can be painful in more ways than one.

This morning I am back to my calm self, and I am glad that I bit my tongue and held back the words. Taking back words does not quite relieve you and somehow once you let go of those words, it’s not like you can take it back completely and wipe it from memory. I know the words would have hurt him (even if he does not seem to be listening) and me too.
This is not the first such incident, I’ve also decided when this happens again, I’ll handle it differently with reverse psychology rather than reason, that is try another doorway into his stubborn mind.