Managing tension? Add Faith...

‘Hypertension’ the moment the doctor mentioned that my BP was approaching that level it has kept me thinking.  Am I in a state of distress ?. Am I putting myself there?. I have always considered myself calm and patient and yet perhaps it’s being eroded by all the negative things going on in my life for the past year. I just realized it has been a year, since the actual proceedings began.

I’ve moved from acceptance to elation to worry.

Acceptance because I can finally get on with living and not the hollow shell I have been for so long, acceptance because this is where my prayers have led me and this must be the step, the only solution which I am grateful has been taken out of my hands.

Elation because of the liberation from the abusive environment and the hell of my ex’s ill-foreboding ever-presence. Worry over the mischief the ex is

Life - like a carnival

Stepping into colours and sights,
sounds, smells, noise and wild movement.

Exhilaration and excitement unfurls, 

where to begin, what to try, which to sample.

Slowly the atmosphere soaks in, we warm up,
the game stalls beckon,

look at those soft toys, a sigh, not easy,  we move on.

Check out the carousel, how many rides,

just get on, let's not get off at all,

round and round,  easy and breezy, 

round and round, up and down,

Are we free, feels whimsical, 

can we toss the worries,

can I stay forever on my white horse.

Cotton candy puffs and popcorn smells, let’s get some.

We’re done,  it’s time to get the heart pumping.

Do we ride the roller coaster or the magic carpet?

Upside down or a real fast drop, what a choice, both or one.

We scream at the top of our lungs, breathing hard,

gripping the sides, knuckles straining out.

One more time, now with eyes open

we do it again, the speed demon takes over.

More exhilarated, eyes bright, minds giddy,

we rush on to the magic carpet.

Heart and stomach lost in transit, shot straight down, 

we come out and down, happily dazed.

Looking up, there looms ahead a glittering Ferris wheel.

Slowly and steadily, it seems to call. 

Let’s get to the top of the world. 

Will we ever get there? 

Another round, another shot at the top.

Slow and steady, in and out, we breathe in the clear air,
as we make our way.

Finally,  we are back down to earth, 

and it’s time to take leave.

Goodnight to lights, noise, smells and sights.

We're done now,
childhood, to youth, to grey.

(HA-8/11)

250th Post

250 posts and crawling.. ... I celebrated 150 posts in October last year, somewhere along the way I hit 200 and didn't celebrate.

I'm still writing, and I am glad. It's been a trouble-filled first half of year for me and a trying one for the kids. My hobby time is seriously compromised and I'm aching to get back to it. But the kids and this drama are taking a toll.

Writing helps, taking my mind off and into other modes of thoughts helps to keep some form of balance ...to be objective and think about what is important. I have been going back over some of what I have written and there are many reminders and lessons that show that time heals different wounds.
In many of them, I  seem to be talking to me!

I think a good posting average would be 1 a week, if I can keep up that is. I started in June 2009, so I think I'm doing OK.

http://mothersalways.blogspot.com/2010/03/stand-tall.html