Emptiness for Fulfillment

I've been readng 'Encounters with Merton' by Henri J M Nouwen and I wanted to share a part that interests me and that is on 'emptying oneself' which was also discussed in M S Peck's book. Thomas Merton was into such deep contemplation of the meaning of life, the search for God, his self and so much more; his thoughts and journey is so complex I am not able to spell it out clearly.
Merton reflects that emptying our selves will  help us do away with fear.  This is done by detachment, to claim nothing and possess nothing not even his life. We will then be able to "stand without fear in a violent world"  Nouwen adds that "detachment does not mean shirking one's responsibilities. Rather it is a supremely active deed that makes it possible to move unprejudiced and unafraid into the center of the evil".
Merton wrote "If I remembered that I have nothing called my own that will not be lost anyway, that only what is not mine but God's will ever live, then I would not fear so many false fears."

Merton reflected that learning the secret of our nothingness will lead us to find our true selves, because what will be left, is us 'made in His image and likeness'.
Paradoxically it appears, emptying our true selves will give us our fill of answers to many questions and we will then know the way to go.

I have come some way(a tiny fraction) of letting go and giving it up to Him and that has truly made me feel less afraid of the unknown.  So I can only imagine what it must feel like (thousand times more liberating ?) IF I COULD go the whole way.

Grading Mummy

My youngest son and I were talking about how his teacher grades his essays.  I was trying to explain the term 'criteria'.  He went  'mmm I guess vocabulary and grammar',  yes an ideas too I added,  how interesting his composition is, makes a difference. 
Somehow we moved to grading his teacher. At first he said ten out of ten, I prodded him and asked him his 'criteria'.. 'his reasons'.  He thought about it out loud and decided she was not perfect, she did not know everything (cause she didn't know the plural for ox was oxen !! ). His teacher got downgraded to six out of ten (oops!).
Then we moved to 'sister' - she was happy to hear him give her a grade of  eight out of ten. I tried to get her 'marked down' ..with criteria (evil grin !!, she glared at me)  Obviously sister was not that 'bad' to him.  I think it's because she shares her IPod with him eventhough she does yell at him from time to time.
Brother did not fare that well, although I suspect at a different time or day his grading would have improved.

Finally we came to Mummy, here I was thinking perhaps I should have picked a better time, I had been 'nagging' him the whole morning about the ills of procrastination to get him to finish his homework. 
But,  he gave me a ten out of ten.  Of course to be fair,  I prodded him with reminders and a chance to re-think, I tried  (really did!) to get him to lower my grade, but (happily for me)  he remained firm, brushed aside anything else I attempted to bring up.
It's a wonderful feeling to be unconditionally loved inspite of our imperfections.

Meandering thoughts

Strange the planet is so small, there's beauty and quiet to be found in some parts and bloodshed and poverty in others, yet each does not touch the other.
The news lately has been bothering me, there's very little good news these days,
- a doctor drowns while diving, - a man is in a coma because he was struck by lightning while he was golfing,   - a suicide bomb kills 100s in Baghdad, bombings in Pakistan that kill women and children,   - a place called Rayong south-east of Bangkok that has seen so much industrialization that the cancer rates and suicide rates are so much higher than the average in the country, and drinking water is contaminated with metals and chemicals... .
- cyclones and floods, earthquake victims and destruction...

Life is so fragile, and unpredictable, this old cliche will never grow old, do we know what happens tomorrow,  whether you be rich or poor death can come unannounced.
Are natural disasters an act of God or the wrath of God. Is it meant to be a renewal or punishment,  we ask  these questions ironically.  Yet here man is also chipping away at that already fragile surface, adding to all that,  the wrath of man and callousness of man,  so eager to hasten death of life and death of the earth. Sometimes I think God is trying to wrestle back control.

Is there a balance, it all seems to be weighted in favour of disaster. Can we tip the scales then,  it's upto the rest of us then to plead for and save the earth.