Jul 31, 2009

A Day in the Life - trying too Hard

Some days I feel like two different persons.

The sane rational one in the office and dysfunctional in the home.
It's on days when I am so tired from work and would like nothing more but to shower and sleep right away.

Child3 and child2 have been arguing and fighting - so the judge (mom) has to preside. Imagine you are dying for some peace and quiet, both the boys insist on having their say first - at the same time. I can't think straight for all the noise and I just stare at the both of them. I let them go at it for about 15 min. Then asked 'are you both done' , they said 'yes'. I said 'good, that's settled', left them open-mouthed and went to take a shower.

The second matter, Child2 hasn't apologised to his older sister - that's a backlog, have to address it today. I thought I can't put it off or he'll think I forgot about it and he'll forget about it too. I take him aside to talk. After a while, he says he's thinking about it. I decide to leave it, that is more than I expected, I will bug him tomorrow when I'm clearer. But then, he turns around and asks me about the earlier situation, 'what about it' I ask, He asks me, 'aren't you going to do anything'. I ask 'why, did you do something wrong' , he says 'well I did snatch the toy from him'.
And I think .. Wow! I didn't have to say anything at all and there it was - the unblemished truth!

So, I don't have to try too hard all the time, enlightenment, understanding emerges somehow, TIME is all he needed (he was moved by my lack of response).
But then we know, the formula is rarely the same each time.

The oldest thankfully was out like a light ..too tired - thank God for small mercies, ...I could hit the sack, duties done!


http://groups.google.com/group/mothers-always

"Live in the along"

I've discovered lots of interesting writers and thinkers in the past few days through the various sites, some amazing, thoughtful, few eye-openers and plenty of sad. Whatever it is about, expressing ourselves and sharing helps us and helps others too.
Over the last day, I've quoted this poet twice, one for the words as poem and the other for it's context. The poem is by an American, the last 4 lines reminds us to live life ..

From Gwendolyn Brooks 1917 (last 4 lines) -
"And remember:
live not for Battles Won.
Live not for The-End-of-the-Song,
Live in the along."

Teach our children well.
http://groups.google.com/group/mothers-always

Jul 29, 2009

Middle Child ?

How does one get through a closed door? How long does one keep knocking?
How do you get him to try when he says he can't.? He's 12.

Sometimes I think it is hopeless, I want to give up and just let him wallow in negativity and find his own way out. Just shakes his head, 'cannot'... 'give up'... 'no use' .. 'nothing can help me'.

When did he start to get this way? Only a major episode (like an earthquake) I believe can move this child and shake his thoughts up. He just refuses to hear. If a stranger counseled him how long would it last..

??? please any words of advise .

Featured Post

You can't miss it if you didn't have it to begin with.

When I was growing up, hand-me-downs were common. And I don't mean from an older sister or cousin. I mean literally second hand clothes ...