The chaos within me has abated, I am adapting and learning to deal with the conflicts and the anxiety of having my children's time monopolized and manipulated by my ex. The kids are old enough, they make their own choices. The final decisions will not be made for another month and a half and I am abiding my time.. I have stopped being and feeling defensive to my ex's whining (through his lawyer). The main thing I focus on is what is in the child's interest. I'll do what I need to do then, if it's not.
Now and then, the anger leaks in and I have a momentary lapse of wanting to lash out but it's under control. I've put him and his shenanigans out of my mind. After this year, I have come to realise I depend on him for nothing that is necessary.
Patience, humility, tolerance .. these run top of mind and that seems to help alot but forgiveness, that's not possible yet. I trust that truth will win out.
This Christmas is a new beginning for me. More than ever, I appreciate the family I have and the love that we share and I am grateful to God for his many blessings and lessons.
I wish all bloggers and readers a beautiful Christmas peace and a good New Year ahead.
Be Happy, Be Strong, Live Life. I write for the love of it; helps me think clearer and somehow it also gives me strength. it's been healing, it's been a journey; it's about me, being a mom, persons who mean much to me, memories, discoveries, where life has taken me and where I hope it will head. I am moving forward, I'm happier today (1 May 2012)
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